Scotch-makers all over Scotland are in mourning today over the death of the number one consumer of their product, Sir Teddy Kennedy.
“They just donna make ’em like Teddy no more!” Said Angus Dewars. “He was as smooth as a single malt aged eighteen years in oak barrels when it a came to makin’ a Senatah sandwich with Senatah Dodd!”
Wallace Glenfiddich was morose: “I”m a not goin’ ta keed youuu! Thees weel deestroy are bottum line. Wee may even have ta go bankruupt! The man drank like a feesh!”
The Right Honourable Alex Salmond, the First Minister of Scottland proclaimed from The Bute House in Edinburgh that the next week would be an official day of mourning for all good Scottish people all over the world.
Don't drink and legislate, kids!
Smash Mouth Politics 