Monthly Archives: July 2009

Must read, BEFORE you let the Government control your health care

An informed citizenry is the best protection against a Dictator taking over a country. READ IT!

Memo to President Obama regarding health care

To: President Obama

From: Rahm Emanuel, Chief of Staff

Regarding: President Obama’s Health Care (“Plan B”)

cc: Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Ted “The Lyin of the Senate” Kennedy, and all Democrat legislators

President Obama asked me to look into ways that we could save on health insurance. Specifically, he asked if we could save money by killing sick people. (Euphemism from now on will be “allow them to die” etc.) 

America is facing a  health care crisis. We have too many sick people and too few dollars to pay for health care. President Obama believes that we should be more selective in our decisions regarding where our health care dollars are spent. Statistically, most people do not need health insurance absent catastrophic injury or disease.  An immediate and future reduction of expenditures on health care could be achieved by not wasting valueable resources on the very sick and instead “allowing them to die.”  A “Blue-Ribbon” Panel could be empowered to decide who are too sick to save, and to authorize them to be “allowed to die” a natural death.   Continue reading

New poll regarding birthers

97% of conservatives believe Barack Obama would lie about where he was born if he was really born in Kenya.

99% of conservatives believe that the Mainstream Media would cover up for Obama if he really was born in Kenya.

100% of conservatives believe that Obama is a fucking moron.

82% of RINOs and “moderate Republicans” believe that even if Obama is not a U.S. citizen he should remain President because “the People have spoken” [in the election].

95% of RINOs and “moderate Republicans” enjoy making fun of “birthers” because it allows them to relate better with liberals and queers.

100% of RINOs and “moderate Republicans” are too fucking cowardly to even consider the question of why Obama is fighting so furiously to not produce the long form of his birth certificate.

0% of liberals would ever question whether “The Won” was ineligible for the Presidency.

75% of liberals are queer or bi-sexual and believe that Obama is, too.

100% of liberals love Obama because they believe that he hates Amerika too.

I REALLY get tired of pointing out that Doug Mataconis is a freakin idiot!

But somebody has to do it. He quotes with apparent approval ” Today, the law recognizes only four exceptions to the First Amendment’s protection for free speech: (1) speech posing the “clear and present danger” of imminent violence or lawless action posited by Holmes, (2) disclosures threatening “national security,” (3) “obscenity” and (4) so-called “fighting words” that would provoke a reasonable person to an imminent, violent response.”

Here I am, sitting in my underwear, barely awake, without first having my first cup of Joe, and even I can think of a couple instances that show the above is pure bullshit. Try mouthing off to a judge in a court room. Try mouthing off about how you will shoot the President of the U.S.  OK, my work here is done.  Keep playing lawyer Dumbass Doug.

President Obama: Snake Oil Salesman

Like       your current health insurance? You can keep it! No insurance? We’ll insure you at no charge! Dislike deductibles and co-pays? No worries, Mate! We’ll cover them for you!

It’s a crisis! The world will come to an end if you make us read all thousand pages of the proposed legislation! No time! Must do! All your neighbors, and your mother, depend upon us passing this legislation before August! You DO love your mother, doncha?

Obama’s Snake Oil can save America! No money down, zero payments for the first ten years! FREE HEALTH CARE! Act now, call within the next fifteen days, and President Obama will cause the ocean to recede, temperatures in Chicago to decrease 4.3 degrees in the next 3 years, and the Detroit Lions will win the Super Bowl in 2010*.

If you call within the next twenty minutes, President Obama will double the offer! No down payments, interest free for the next TWENTY YEARS, and we’ll throw in a free proctological exam FREE!

But wait, THERE’S MORE! Act now, and receive a free bail out for General Motors and Chrysler! President Obama will force a G.M. to resign, give the two businesses to the U.A.W., and stick the tax payers with the tab, all at no cost to The Won.

Quick, call now! Operators are standing by! Call 1-wes-o00-fukd!

* come on, President Obama is a miracle worker, but some things are just impossible!

House of Representatives passes new resolution: President Obama is not really a Chicago Thug who hates Amerika!

I thug, therefore I am.

I thug, therefore I am.

Special Breaking CBS News: In an unpreci-dented move to shore up President Obama’s failing poll numbers, Democrats in the U.S. House of Represent- atives introduced a bill which declares officially that President Obama is not a thug from Chicago who secretly loathes America and who wants to socialize our economy in order to fuck it up and allow all his ‘homies’ to become official Czars with unprecedented control over great portions of America. Continue reading

Put down your beer

IOWAHAWK’s latest article will make you snort it out your nose if you don’t:

“Guest Opinion
by Professor John Evans Evans-John
Harvard School of Harvard Faculty Asshole Studies
Harvard University

“When I first learned of the arrest of my colleague Professor Henry Louis “Skip” Gates after he stood up to the fascist jackboots of a declasse, ill-educated Cambridge police officer, I was of course angered — but scarcely shocked. L’Affaire Gates simply aired, in public, the dirty 100-thread-count table linen of an American culture where Harvard faculty assholes still face a daily struggle against profiling, abuse, and insolence….”

Is Doug Mataconis a REAL lawyer? Seriously. Or, “FUCK ALL Y’ALL WHO CALL US ‘BIRTHERS’ CRAZY.”

[UPDATE July 29, 2009: What the American Mainstream Press refused to publicize about one of the early male influences in Barack Obama’s life. He had a communist pedophile as a mentor, aka “Uncle Frank.” ]

First, anybody else notice? Dumbass Dougie posted like 22 freakin posts today? What lawyer has that amount of time to blog?

But more seriously, the dude doesn’t seem to have a clue about logic or facts. He thinks a) because he is satisfied that Obama was really born in Hawaii that somehow anybody else who is skeptical is therefore nuts; and b) because [fill in the blank, Bill O’Reilly, The National Review, Congress, some dumbass in bumfuckistan, whomever] agrees with him, therefore  he must be correct.

Please, permit me to show you how a REAL lawyer examines the issue of whether or not Obama was born in Hawaii.  Let’s pretend I’m some schmuck’s lawyer who is suing some private citizen (say, Barack H. Obama, Esquire, Chicago Illinois) and as part of his claim Mr. Schmuck has to prove that Mr. Obama was not born in Hawaii (can’t imagine how that would ever come up but bear with me).  Continue reading

Breaking: Text of recent “talks” between Taliban and envoys from USA, Great Britain!

A.P. News, July 28, 2009: somewhere near the Afghanistan, Pakistan border.  “A transcript of the first ever talks between envoys from the USA and Great Britain and high ranking officials within the Taliban have been obtained by a reporter for the Associated Press International.  Below is a portion of those historic talks, instituted at the behest of the Obama Administration:

Taliban representative: “ALLAH ACHBAR! DEATH TO AMELICA!!”

American envoy: “Please do not chop my head off!!! I’ll say and do anything to arrrggghh. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Gurgle gurgle…”  [sound of head plopping onto the ground.]

Taliban representative: “ALLAH ACHBAR! DEATH TO AMELICA LAP DOG!”

Great Britain envoy: “PLEASE DON’T KILL ME! I’LL SAY AND DO…AHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOO!!! [slice, dice, sound of head plopping onto cave somewhere in Bumfuckistan, Afghanistan.]

Taliban representative:  [As he wipes the blood from his scimtar, with a devilish grin on his face] “ALLAH ACHBAR! DEATH TO AMELICA AND AMELICA’S LAP DOG!!” 

Contrast the above with America’s response to the Taliban during George W. Bush’s Administration…

Taliban representative during Bush Administration: “Allah Achbar! Velly nice wedding.  Very clear day.  Velly nice.  Perhaps we should be back home in our cave…”

[KA-BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOFUCKINGBOOOOM! Or whatever it is the sound that a Predator Drone missile makes as it sends Taliban members to their everlasting hell!]   

Yeah, I think I prefer George’s method of “talks” with the Taliban.

Confessions of a blog-whore

I sometimes publish brilliant articles, and nobody notices.

I enjoy the pleasant surprise when some article that I’ve spent less than ten minutes on becomes a big hit and garners much attention.

I’ll take hits any way I can get them. Even if it is because one of my articles has a photo of Mickey Mouse in a birthday hat (no, really), or some joke of an article contains the magic words “Gates 911 Tape revealed.”

I’m jealous that “The Other McCain” routinely links to that asshole “Dumbass Dougie Mataconis” who is a flaming liberal but has never noticed my wonderful body of work.  Ok, it also makes me question Mr. McCain’s sanity.  How can one person who seems so wise make such a dumb decision?

I secretly believe that I have yet to be discovered, and that when I am discovered, I’ll be a famous blogger.  (I also wear my “Superman” T-shirt to bed each night.)

I enjoy getting responses from trolls. Better notice from trolls than nobody.

Sometimes I believe that important people read my blog. Either that or they have my brain waves wired and can read my mind.  Then I put on my tinfoil cap, and I just think that they read my blog.

p.s. If you can read this, tell my wife that I have been involuntarily committed for 48 hours in the “Psych Ward” at Virginia Commonwealth University Hospital (a.k.a. MCV Hospital) in Richmond, Virginia. TIA.