Does different types of alcohol effect us differently?

Okay, let’s get this up front first. Science says no. 

But I say bullshit.  “Tequila makes her clothes fall off” wasn’t written for no reason.  Wodka obviously makes Gramps a raving lunatic. 

Try this experiment.  Drink five beers.  Then drink five shots of Tequila.  Tell me that they effec tyo uthe same.  Don ottry thi swhi ledriv ing.  Kids thi sinvo lves act ivity tha tis for adu lts only. Donottry thisat home.

NOw, where isthevodka? I cannot conductaproperscientificexperienmentwithout the3 vodaka………………………………………………………………..j.d.

8 responses to “Does different types of alcohol effect us differently?

  1. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and science tells us that Global Warming is real and Hokies can’t successfully mate with livestock.

    The truth is that different distilled spirits do have different effects. Gin for example makes men ten feet tall, bulletproof and as hostile as a redneck at a Barry Manilow concert. Similarly, Malt Duck makes teenage girls pregnant.

  2. Danger Mom…

    Yer a lady I’d like to meet…
    Me doin’ the gin and you the Malt Duck…
    Or visa verso, “ladies choice…!”

  3. Gramps, you’d be better off plying that Malt Duck on Wodger, he’s likely more sensitive and probably has more than his share of female hormones.

    I on the other hand have a “Bombay and Tonic” habit that tends to put me in a frame of mind where my only desire is to stomp a mud-hole in somebody, age, mental infirmity or past military service being irrelevant to me in that state.

    • ”I on the other hand have a “Bombay and Tonic” habit that tends to put me in a frame of mind where my only desire is to stomp a mud-hole in somebody, age, mental infirmity or past military service being irrelevant to me in that state.

      Like I said…yer a lady I’d like to meet…!
      Mud-hole stompin’, without mercy, that’s my kinda gal…

      I’m pretty much the gentle side of that type of equation…some ladies like it, that way.
      Gentle, that is…

  4. Ounce for ounce the alcohol has the same effect, ceteris paribus but the ceteris isn’t always paribus. A Martini should contain 3 oz. of 100-proof gin and should (and must in my opinion) be drunk in the few minutes when it is ice, ice cold (well below 32 F). And then, as Mom says, I feel ten feet tall. However, a couple more at that rate and I will feel one feet tall.🙂

    I tend to drink beer, wine and neat whiskey slower. I don’t even know what Malt Duck is but maybe I should find out. Mom’s point is well taken: I did once go to a party and drink shots of tequila with an actress and her clothes did magically fall off shortly thereafter. In fact, I found her bra somewhere around the house the next day.

    Science can’t explain everything in the Universe,and that’s fer sure.😉

  5. Malt Duck was simply malt liquor with the kick of Colt 45, the interesting thing was that it tasted like grape juice and was phenomenally cheap. Thus you could pour quarts (and yes it was sold in quarts) of it down the throats of unsuspecting high school girls and subsequently take your liberties with them. The best part was that if the strategy failed or she passed out too early (I suspect the latter wouldn’t have slowed J.D. down much) it was cheap enough to buy more and try it on another victim. Beat the hell out trying to get them drunk on Boone’s Farm Tickled Pink.

  6. I coughed my beer out my nose at that last post, Mom.

  7. Did my best JD…

    Tryin’ to be “Yin” to yer “Yang”…

    I’ll always treasure the moment[s] and posts…
    Olde SF arsehole sends…

    H&K’s…
    That ain’t Heckler and Kochs…

    Luv yah, Gramps sends…
    All the very best…!

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