Ready-Made Excuses

Even as late as my youth, when a politician was caught screwing the secretary or stealing the petty cash he generally resigned immediately and left town in disgrace.  Now?  Everyone has a problem, and addiction, an excuse.  I highlighted an example awhile back.  The most fabulous case is Philanderer-in-Chief Clinton, who kept his job and his wife despite his weird and creepy gropings with an intern.  Since then, between the Oprahs and the therapists there has been a concerted attempt to explain bad behavior and attribute it to some external, uncontrollable factor.  The following is  provided as a field guide to the “Something made me do it!” excuse.  To get the proper effect, when you see a politician or other public figure talking like this, the appropriate response is:


It was a private matter between two consenting adults! Everybody lies about sex! It wasn’t sex it was just oral gratification! It depends on what the meaning of “is” is! I did not have sex or not-sex, whether video, audio or photographic, with that woman! It’s an addiction, a medical problem that I can’t be punished for under the Americans With Disabilities Act! PTSD! My brother’s serious illness caused me so much stress that I didn’t know what I was doing! It was an epileptic seizure/insulin reaction/change in my Elavil/Prozac prescription! It was a blood sugar spiking problem! I was sending the pic to a buddy and accidentally hit “reply all”! It’s a Vast right-Wing Conspiracy to discredit me because the Democrats are about to lose the House! I’m a victim of child abuse, psychological abuse or self-abuse! The extreme amount of overtime required by my job caused a chemical deficiency of serotonin! I have a wide stance! Sleep driving! Sex addiction, food addiction, porn addiction!

When this guy

said, “I’m a victim of soicumtances!” everybody laughed.  Somehow it’s become serious.



20 responses to “Ready-Made Excuses

  1. NV…
    Do yah pull this inanity…outhah yer backside, for any good, damn, reason or on special purpose, just too hurt folks…?

  2. Gramps–I’m not hurting anyone, do you see any names here? (besides Clinton, and he is already well known). I’m not attacking a person or any race, class, gender, sex, religion or sexual orientation. I’m attacking a culture, which is often called the “therapy culture.”

    Some people really do have horrific mental problems that might excuse certain bad behaviors or crimes. That accounts for about 2-3 percent. The rest are responsible for their actions. The proper response to being caught committing adultery with the intern or stealing from the treasury is I was wrong, I am sorry, I resign. I know it was happening before Clinton but he showed the world how to brazen it out and get away with it, so fuck him. We got a bunch of 14-year-old girls out there now giving out blowjobs now because he claimed it wasn’t “sex.” The fact that he can run around the country and draw admiring crowds now shows how little moral sense some people have got.

    Up here where I live we’ve had a least four instances of accountants or bookkeepers who systematically stole from non-profits (including the women’s shelter, for God’s sake) or the government. Every one of them was a woman, and every damned one of them claimed that some kind o’ “stress” or mental problem (including “E-Bay addiction”) as the cause of their thievery.

    I say, again, bullshit.

  3. Everyone/everything is to blame – except me.
    You’re not alone in being tired of that song nv.
    “E-bay addiction”? Grow up!

  4. Pingback: Robo-Love: Saturday Stealth Edition

  5. We all make excuses, even the super rich and powerful…GOP senatorial candidate Fiorina and Republican gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman skipped an event Saturday where Palin campaigned on their behalf.

    The event slated for Oct. 16 in Anaheim is being widely promoted by the Republican National Committee and conservatives in the state, but neither gubernatorial nominee Meg Whitman nor Senate nominee Carly Fiorina, whom Palin has endorsed, plans to attend.
    A Fiorina source told POLITICO that her campaign already had two longstanding events set for the day and would not be able to attend the Saturday rally.
    Whitman spokesman Tucker Bounds, meanwhile, said, “It’s a national RNC fundraiser, which we’re not planning to attend.”

    Palin’s magical, mystery, bus tour, begins with no excuses, in Calleeforneeah and ends in New Hampshire on November 1st…


  6. What’s Joe Miller’s excuse…up there in AK?

    I hear tell… his “short necked” security detail, arrested a journalist at one of his press conferences for “asking inappropriate, questions”…?
    Asking “inappropriate questions”, at a press conference…what a condescending, outrageous, radical, thing to do…

    At least he didn’t throw his moldy, muddy, fishin’ boots, or did he, Joe…?

  7. Excuses, excuses…

    On FOX News…Joe Miller insisted that Tony Hopfinger, the editor of the website Alaska Dispatch, “planned” to badger him with questions going so far as to follow him into the bathroom. The “arrest,” Miller added, occurred only after he was off the premises [of a public school..?] and because Hopfinger had been unruly.

    It’s [Joe] “Miller Time” folks…

  8. Being a barrister, JD, yer opinion is worth more than the jewels of the realm here…

    How can Hopfinger “lawyer up”…?

    “Sequestering of a “unruly” reporter”
    “Illegal detainment and holding of a citizen”

    Hey I’m not kiddin’…?

  9. You can get a real close look at some of Joe Miller’s “short necked” thugs right here…

    ” Meanwhile, the Army says that two of the guards who assisted in the arrest of the journalist and who tried to prevent two other reporters from filming the detention were active-duty soldiers moonlighting for Miller’s security contractor, the Drop Zone, a Spenard [Alaska] surplus store and protection service.

    The soldiers, Spc. Tyler Ellingboe, 22, and Sgt. Alexander Valdez, 31, are assigned to the 3rd Maneuver Enhancement Brigade at Fort Richardson. Maj. Bill Coppernoll, the public affairs officer for the Army in Alaska, said the two soldiers did not have permission from their current chain of command to work for the Drop Zone, but the Army was still researching whether previous company or brigade commanders authorized their employment.

    My how times have changed…when I served in Vietnam on multiple missions from 1962-1966, pulling a “bull pucky” stunt like this for some sorry politician, while on active duty, would have definitely resulted in an Article 15, if not a Courts Martial and reduction in rank…!

  10. SUBJECT: Political Activities by Members of the Armed Forces…
    NUMBER 1344.10
    February 19, 2008

    Some members of Mr. Joe Miller’s security could be in some, how do they say; “real deep dodo”…

    “…This is the sort of thing that the U.S. State Department would readily condemn if it happened in Egypt or Iran or Venezuela or Cuba: active-duty soldiers detaining journalists while they’re paid by politician candidates? The fact that Joe Miller has been defending the conduct of his private guards in handcuffing a journalist and threatening others with handcuffs should be disqualifying by itself. That reveals a deeply disturbed authoritarian mind. But the fact that these guards are active-duty U.S. soldiers makes this entire incident far more disturbing. Shouldn’t American journalists of every stripe be vehemently protesting this incident?

  11. West Point and Yale graduate…

    Officer and a Gentleman and member of the bar…
    Holy, moley Joe…if anyone should have been “aware and cognizant” it shudda been you Joe…

    Say it sooo, Joe…!

    Hey folks… and this wasn’t to clear up his latest, pretty, pickle… “a politician’s arrest of a reporter, using active duty military personnel”…


  12. It just gets worse and worse, or better and better…depending on yer point of view…?

    ” The Department of Public Safety has decided to investigate Joe Miller’s private Gestapo. Update!”

    Ms Murkowski, just may be closing…

  13. Alaska Survey of 500 Likely Voters, Conducted October 13, 2010, By Rasmussen Reports

    1* If the 2010 election for United States senate were held today would you vote for Republican Joe Miller or Democrat Scott McAdams? (Please note that we split the survey to rotate the order of the candidate names, so while half will hear the Republican candidate first, the other half hears the Democrat mentioned first.)

    35% Joe Miller (R)
    27% Scott McAdams (D)
    34% Lisa Murkowski (Write in)
    1% Some Other Candidate
    3% Not Sure

    With this Rassy…I’m thinkin’ Joe may be hurtin’…
    This was taken before, he ventured into “third world police tactics” to control “unruly reporters” from asking impertinent questions at his presser…


  14. Gramps, if you’re relying on the immoral minority blog as your news source you’re bound to be disappointed. I think this was the same nutball that breathlessly announced Sarah Palin was getting a divorce and being targeted by the FBI…he has a lot of “sources” apparently. They consist of voices in his head, probably the late L. Ron Hubbard.

  15. Beejeebus NV…
    I have no truck,>/em> with any blog [except JD’s…] unless they parrot my “sorry political line”…

    BTW: Where the hell is “John Boye”…
    I can’t hold “The Whole [damn] World in my Hand” without some antagonist, no matter how learned or sophisticated, as my foil…

    JD, “call home”…!

    JD… did yer damn boat sink…?and yer attempting to communicate, late at night, from the other side…?

  16. Hey NV up in AK…

    Does the Rassy Poll of 10.13.2010 seem realistic to you…if so it would appear to this “chechako” Joe’s gotta hard row to hoe…?

    You keep yer ear to the ground…
    What’s happenin’…?

  17. Gramps–the Rassy poll squares with what I’m seein’ and hearin’ on the ground here. Three-way races are very dynamic. Someone is going to win with 38-39 percent, I reckon.

  18. Smash Mouth readers are way ahead of the campaign news cycle…
    10-21-2010 @ Huff Post…

    ”One of the most troubling campaign moments this election season occurred Sunday night, when security guards working for Alaska Tea Party candidate Joe Miller detained and handcuffed a journalist as he tried to ask the GOP Senate nominee difficult questions.”

    Hey folks… and yah read it here first…
    Gramps | October 18, 2010 at 4:43 pm | Reply
    On FOX News…Joe Miller insisted that Tony Hopfinger, the editor of the website Alaska Dispatch, “planned” to badger him with questions going so far as to follow him into the bathroom. The “arrest,” Miller added, occurred only after he was off the premises [off a public school] and because Hopfinger had been unruly.

    It’s [Joe] “Miller Time” folks…

  19. Don’t yah just luv a West Point and Yale Law School graduate with a five o’clock shadow…and no damn portfolio for any of the fine, citizens of Alaska…?

    “Hannity job”

    A mild description of the disgust this supposed “Officer and Gentleman and “distinguished member of the Alaskan, Bar” …perpetrated on legitimate reporter[s] at one of his recent, pressers in a public school in Seward, Alaska…

    For this, his best “third world police tactics” the GOP candidate [Joe “Miller Time”] for senator from Alaska…gets an [A+++] rating, from this olde, sorry, soldier’s, bony, arse…!

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