Daily Archives: September 29, 2010


Yeah, the good ol’ days when you could just enjoy your goddam cigarette without some antismoking  nazi on your ass about it. Living in the moment, in the music, not worrying about filing a freakin’ Environmental Impact Statement.

Yeah, I’m feeling a little nostalgic right now.  1965,  I was five years old and spent a lot of time with my grandparents.   Grandpa used to sit in his easy chair, drink brandy and smoke his Camels, when he wasn’t smoking his pipe.  He said so many, many funny things, my brother and I used to laugh until we were sick.

He died at 66 of smoking-related diseases (of course) but while he lived, he lived.  He sure as fuck didn’t spend any time worrying about radon in the basement, second-hand smoke, global climate disruption, seat belt laws, his weight, his abs, political correctness, fat grams or how many calories were in his Hamms.

We’re all going to die.  Smoking will, statistically, make one likely to die a few years earlier.  To gain those years, what price have we paid in letting the Feminized State intrude on out private lives?


What if they exposed some flaw in a Republican candidate and nobody cared?

This latest crap about Meg Whitman having a maid who is an illegal alien, and the recent crap about Christine O’Donnell being a witch, blah blah blah got me to thinking that the Republicans/conservatives might be growing up.  We might actually be learning from our mistakes.  I am heartened.

No, I am not heartened by the fact that our candidates are not perfect. I wish they were.  Really. But they ain’t. Ain’t possible even.  Given the option between the perfect conservative candidate and the flawed conservative candidate, I’d take the perfect one every time.   Most conservatives would.  And you know what? Liberals know that about us.  What we perceive as a strength, liberals rightfully saw as a weakness.   Let’s face it, folks.  We. Eat. Our. Own.

Remember back when Bubba was on the hot seat for perjury, abuse of power, obstruction of justice?  And poor Henry Hyde was exposed as having a mistress.  Chomp! CHOMP! CHOMP!  Henry Hyde was “mmmm, mmmmmm, good!”  Never mind that what he did was not morally equivalent to what Bubba did.  We conservatives expected perfection.  So he resigned.

But wait, but wait! John, don’t you remember that Zoe Baird chick? And what’s her name after  her and the whole “Nannygate thing after wards?  Not one but two of Bill Clinton’s nominees for Attorney General withdrew their names for nominee after it was determined that they had hired illegal aliens.  Isn’t that the same thing? Shouldn’t Meg Whitman withdraw from the race in California? Wouldn’t that be the proper thing to do?

In a word, no.  In two words, fuck no.  Democrats care about breaking laws? Puhleeeeeze.   Why should we?  Sure, I know, we are better than they are.  But we aren’t strong enough to knock off our would-be leaders for the Democrats. The Democrats aren’t so stupid.  Bill Clinton committed rape sexual assault abuse of power obstruction of justice perjury “lied about sex”? No biggie.  Remember “nobody gets prosecuted for perjury?  Tell that to Scooter Libby and now Roger Clemens.   Ted Kennedy killed a young woman, Joe Biden plagiarized speeches,  Barney Frank ran a gay bordello out of his basement, and more recently, Timothy Geithner cheated on his taxes?  How did Democrats handle it?  No big deal.  When Democrats lie, cheat or steal, it is a resume enhancement.

Are we like that? No.  But we have to use some discretion.  We are better than them.  But we’ll shoot our generals when and if we feel like it, not when and if the liberals expose some particular flaw that shows that they are human, but which does not disqualify them from the race.

Instead of playing the liberals game of shooting our own generals, we are going to (hopefully) act like adults.  Is a squishy conservative Meg Whitman, who may have hired an illegal alien as a maid (about 1/3 of Californians are illegal aliens, ain’t they?) better than a loony leftist Jerry Brown for Governor of California? That’s the question that ADULTS will have to answer when they go into the voting booth in California in November.

As a good friend was fond of saying, “Hope dis halps!”

John Doe

Obama on Why I Became A “Christian”

Smitty, Smitty, Smitty: sometimes you are just too polite. That’s where John Doe comes in–to keep it real and to reveal the truth.  Here, in Obama’s own words, are why Obama became a “Christian.”

Um, somewhere along the way I became convinced that I was special, destined to lead the world. All those typical white people elected me, a black guy, as the first black editor of the Harvard Law School Law Review.  Damn, my head swelled up so big that I was almost unbearable for a while.  But I liked it.  I did not even actually have to do anything while Editor, and they still loved me.

After graduating, I did not know exactly what I wanted to do with my life, but I retained this feeling of being special, almost in a narcissistic way, if I remember my psychology terms from Occidental.

Then some more typical white people through money at me to get me to write my memoirs.  I blew the advance money on coke and male hookers, and then had no idea how or what to write about.  The typical white people who me all that crazy money were starting to talk about fraud and breach of contract, and wanted a book or their money back.

Then I stumbled upon another typical white man who was a revolutionary as was I.  My friend “Bill” agreed to write my book for me.  I could not believe my good luck.  All these typical white people kept doing me huge, undeserved favors.  I really became convinced that I was special and that I was destined to be something great.

Around that time I decided that I would run for office.  I had all these typical white people falling all over themselves, but I had a problem relating with black people.  Well, they had a problem with me.  I didn’t speak like them, I didn’t live in their neighborhoods, I didn’t eat their food, I didn’t have a thing to do with them usually.  Not too many black folk at Hahhhvad.  So I looked around for a place to build my base.

So I joined the Reverend Wright’s church.  To my surprise he did not believe that it was necessary for a Muslim to convert to Christianity.  He even said as much on national television.  He wasn’t your typical Christian, he was into black power and putting the white man in his place. But his church served my purpose.  I got me a black wife, had me a couple of black children, and fit right in.  Soon, I was elected to office.  It was so easy, it confirmed my ideas that I was indeed special and destined for great things.

Well, one thing lead to another, and soon I was the front-runner for the Democratic presidential nominee.  And we all know in this day and age that a black man with a name like Barack Hussein Obama could never be elected to office if he admitted to being a Muslim.  Dayaamn, I’m special, but I’m not stupid.   So I kinda lied.  I’m not religious any how.  God, if He or She really does exist–and don’t you tell anybody that I said this or I’ll have the Secret Service track you down and dispose of you–but God will forgive me for such a little “whitey” lie, because I’m special and was destined to became President of the United States.   Now swear to me Mr. Doe that you will never tell anybody about our little discussion!  Here, swear on this stack of Holy Qur’an.

John Doe

p.s. I swear this really happened.

Giant Kidney Worms

Never heard of these but it sounds as though they are not uncommon in certain areas of the USA.

John Don’t Want no Kidney Worms Doe