How to be a Popular and Successful President of These United States

Karl Rove on Obama’s Mystifying Strategy.

I respect Rove as one of the best campaigners of the last 50 years (but not for “compassionate conservatism”) but this isn’t exactly rocket science, Karl.  Rove admires Obama’s and his team’s ability to, in essence,  pull the wool over enough people’s eyes regarding his true feelings and attitudes about America to win the 2008 election.  After that, Karl is “mystified” that Barry O couldn’t keep up the charade and has let slip what he really thinks about The Country Class.  Rove doesn’t seem to fully grasp that the President cannot say or do the things that would make him popular with us, without losing face with The Ruling Class.  He owes them everything, and without them he’s finished.  Approval ratings have to take the back seat.

Look, I’m just a state-level political hack/consultant/guru, but I stand ready and willing to advise the next President of the United States (whoever s/he may be) on how to be a popular, successful two-termer.  It’s pretty effing simple, really.  Say the following, say it with conviction, over and over and over again:

  • “The United States is the greatest country in the world.”
  • “The primary function of government is to protect the rights, lives and property of the people.  Other functions are secondary.”
  • “There are many functions and programs that state and local governments can do best, and I will work tirelessly to transfer these out of Washington, DC.”
  • “American small businesses don’t need more subsidies and tax breaks to succeed.  They need less taxes and regulatory roadblocks.”
  • “Crossing the border of the United States illegally is…against the law.  I will hire 30, 50 or 100,000 new Border Patrol agents and build 1,000 miles of fence, whatever it takes, to enforce the laws of the land.  People already here illegally will be returned to their own countries.  Businesses that hire illegal immigrants will be made to pay stiff penalties.”

How hard was that?  These sentiments are all wildly popular with the majority of voting Americans, including quite a few Democrats, for Heaven’s sake!  In fact, outside of faculty lounges and public employee union headquarters, there are few who would disagree with any of them.  This is a winning political “strategy” indeed.

To our next President:  I stand ready to hold the position on your staff responsible for reminding you of this stuff every bleeping day.  Leave a comment and I’ll send the contact information.


5 responses to “How to be a Popular and Successful President of These United States

  1. You got my vote buddy. Why are you blogging? Get out there and run! Sarah did it.

  2. Thanks much, but I’m more of a Cardinal Richelieu than a Louis XIV 🙂

  3. NeoVic23 the Cardinal Richelieu, who; dominated King Louis XIII of France…

    1610 — Henry IV is assassinated; succeeded by his son Louis XIII (at age 9) (-1643) with Queen Maria de’Medici as Regent (-1617).
    1614 — Maria, Queen Regent, summons the States General of France to counteract power of the nobility (last meeting, 1789); last usage of the parliamentary machinery before the French Revolution.
    1615 — Louis XIII marries Anna of Austria
    1616 — Richelieu becomes Minister of State for Foreign Affairs and War.
    1618 — Richelieu is ordered into exile at Avignon for intriguing with the Queen Mother.
    1619 — Maria de’Medici challenges the power of her son Louis XIII; Louis recalls Richelieu from Avignon to prevent revolt, marches his army into Angers, and defeats his mother’s supporters; Treaty of Angouleme ends the conflict.
    1620 — revolt of nobles against Louis XIII; Richelieu makes peace, reconciling the Queen Mother to her son.
    1621 — Huguenot rebellion against Louis XIII.
    1624-42 — administrative reform under Richelieu, who is made first minister of France.
    1624 — Anglo-French treaty for Charles, Prince of Wales, to marry Henrietta Maria, daughter of Henry IV and Maria de-Medici.
    1626 — Peace of La Rochelle between Huguenots and French crown.
    1626 — Richelieu suppresses Chalais conspiracy, concentrating all political power in his own hands; he was the chief minister of Louis XII; he furthered centralization.
    1637 — Richelieu appoints intendants over the whole of France, and places the complete financial, judicial and police administration in their hands. The new system created a permanent civil service that helped to centralize absolute power at the expense of local authority.
    1642 — Cardinal Richelieu dies.
    1643 — Louis XIII of France dead; succeeded by his 5 year old son Louis XIV (-1715).

    Darn Cardinals…Hehehe…!

  4. Thanks for the correction on the number of the Louis in question. The analogy was not, of course, meant to be literal. All I wuz sayin’, Gramps ol’ bo, was that I am more suited to be a close adviser than The Man Himself. Let’s not strain too hard here, might get a hernia…

  5. Hey NV23…no strain no pain, just a nice review of some olde French history; pretty much no one gives a wit or damn, about..!

    It is not worthwhile to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man’s character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.
    ~~ Mark Twain in Eruption and then this of course…

    Herodotus says, “Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all: The conscientious historian will correct these defects.”
    ~~ Acknowledgments for A Horse’s Tale

    So you’re an “Architect”?
    If recent history is any example; that profession can get yah into some “hot water” from time to time…?

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