Daily Archives: September 11, 2010

NO WIMPY CHRIST

To my [2-3] loyal readers this should come as no surprise: I don’t believe in no wimpy Christ. This rant was set off by the rubbish spewed in this article “Why I think burning Korans isn’t such a great idea” from Doubleplusundead.  In a nutshell: Bull Shit.

W.W.J.D.  today towards those scum sucking pigs who bomb, behead and bugger? Would he sit back and be kind, and be gracious, and be timid? If you think that, you don’t know the Bible like I know the Bible. 

He would be in their face, telling them what godless heathen they are.  What scum-sucking pigs they are. How of the devil their false religion is.  He made a whip and drove out the money changers. His harshest criticism was of those who considered themselves the most religious (the Pharisees and the Sadducees).  I can’t imagine him sitting back and allowing the world to believe that Islam is equal to Christianity is equal to godlessness…

Mock Keith Matthews Interview:

K.M.: So, Jesus–can I call you Jesus? What do you think about the Islamists?

J.C. : Every knee shall bow, and every tongue confess…

K.M. : So you think Christianity is superior to Islam? What about all the great things that Moslems did back in, oh, I dunno, 8oo A.D.?

J.C.: I am the Way and the Truth and the Life, no man comes to the Father except through me…

K.M.: So what you are saying is that Christianity is the only one true religion? What about all the good Scientologists, the great Buddhists, the wonderful adherents of “The Religion of Peace”? And what about all those good atheists and agnostics?  [Here he sneers, as though his point of view is so far superior to all others that the answers to his questions will be self-evident.]  Shouldn’t you be out turning the other cheek or something? Aren’t you supposed to love your enemies?  What kind of quack thinks he is the Son of God and goes around telling religions that have been around for centuries that they aren’t just as good as Christianity? Aren’t you supposed to be humble? 

J.C. : Mohammed was no profit.  Allah is a God invented by a goatherder who had an inordinate amount of affection for little boys.  My sheep know my name and follow me…

[Some cross-talk here]

K. M.: …Aren’t you just the son of a carpenter?  Is it true that you were conceived before your parents were married? And aren’t you just a thirty-three year old virgin? You must be gay–not that there is anything wrong with that!  Are  you gay, Mr. J. Christ? Never mind: Coming up next.  The Ground Zero Mosque: Is that any different than a Church outside of Auschwitz? And later, “why do Christians believe that theirs is the only one true religion when there are so many other great religions?” We’ll be right back…

[Cut to a commercial]

J.D.

Why do I love thee NFL football?

I love reading about it leading up to the draft/season/games. Satisfaction, 50%.  Half of that satisfaction is picking the guy that I wanted the Lions to draft and seeing the Lions move up and get him (Jahvid Best).  Another quarter is reveling in what a great job Martin Mayhew and the rest of the Lions brass are finally doing (hey, I’ve lived through former G.M.s Russ Thomas and Matt Millen).

Another large portion of satisfaction (say 25%) comes from pre-season.  Who makes the cut? Do we keep that third left guard or that second fullback who is so promising?

About 5-10% of the satisfaction comes from the actual game (about 1% in seasons past for Lions fans).  Okay, the comraderie is great when you aren’t watching the Lions alone with all the shades drawn.  Or when you are watching any other game. 

And the rest of the satisfaction comes from being correct when you pick a winner (any other game) or when the Lions actually win a freaking game (2x in the past two years 😦  )

But when Lions win on Sunday, the WORLD IS BRIGHT AND GAY! Then 100% of my satisfaction comes from the game…

Perhaps this should be entitled “Why do I still LOVE thee Detroit Lions?”

J.D.

Christine O’Donnell’s Official Theme Song

“First I look at the purse” (I did not know that Smokey Robinson co-wrote that song)

Some fellas look at the eyes
Some fellas look at the nose
Some fellas look at the size
Some fellas look at the clothes
I don’t care if her eyes are red
I don’t care if her nose is long
I don’t care if she’s underfed
I don’t care if her clothes are worn
First I look at the purse!  is she conservative?
Some fellas like the smiles they wear
Some fellas like the legs that’s all
Some fellas like the style of their hair
Want their waist to be small.
I don’t care if their legs are thin
I don’t care if their teeth are big
I don’t care if their hair’s a wig
Why waste time lookin’ at the waistline?
First I look at the purse! is she conservative?
A woman can be fat as can be,
kisses sweet as honey
But that don’t mean a thing to me
If you ain’t got no money conservative
If the purse is fat….that’s where it’s at.her doctrine’s right she’ll get my vote tonight
Some fellas like the way they walk
The way they swing and sway
Some fellas like the way they talk
Dig the things they say.
I don’t care if they wobble like a…
or talk with a lisp
I still think I’m a good lover
if the dollar bills are crisp
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!
I don’t care if you got yourself a wrap
all I want is your pretty green cash
Bought me a suit, bought me a car
Want me to look like a hollywood star
Money, (Money!) I want money (Money!)
Baby, ain’t no “why”, baby (Money!)
I need money!
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!
First I look at the purse!

Required Reading for RINOs

Jeffrey Lord at The American Spectator hits one out of the park with his “The Ruling Class hits Christine O’Donnell.”  Okay, I’ll admit it.  Even John Doe sometimes worries that the better conservative Republicans can’t win in the liberal states and that maybe the more liberal RINOs should be elected.  “Better 60 Lindsay Grahams than 40 Jim DeMints” RINOs want you to believe.  But the statement begins with a false, unstated premise: that RINOs can win where conservatives cannot.  That false premise ignores the fact that when given a choice between a Democrat and a fake-Democrat, voters will more often choose the real Democrat.  Mr. Lord points out in this lengthy quote from his must read article, conservatives can win:

“As a Pennsylvanian, it is well-remembered here that liberal Republicans insisted in 1976 that Reagan was an extremist and the GOP had to go with President Castle — er — Ford. So the argument carried the day. And Ford not only lost the election itself he couldn’t even carry Pennsylvania. By 1980, voters got the drift. Not only was Reagan nominated over Bush, he carried 44 states in 1980 and 49 states in 1984 — including Pennsylvania both times. Bush, by the way, ran on Reagan’s coattails in 1988 and carried the state. In 1992, fully on his own after four years in the White House himself, he lost both the election and — yes — Pennsylvania.”

“Just last year, hearing the news that liberal Republican Arlen Specter had defected to the Democrats because the Christine O’Donnell of Pennsylvania — Pat Toomey — was clobbering him in GOP primary polls, South Carolina’s Senator Lindsey Graham took to the cameras to lecture conservatives that they had wronged Specter and Toomey couldn’t win. Why? Because in Pennsylvania we supposedly only elect GOP liberals. Toomey, as this is written, is leading liberal Democrat Joe Sestak by ten points.” Continue reading

Hot Girls Burning the Koran

I like to beat dead horses. I like my Rule 5 posts to have a theme,  So what could be hawter than having a Rule 5 post featuring Koran burning annnnnd hawt women?  Cheers, John Doe.

Can I light your fire, Sir?

Preferably while listening to “Light My Fire” by Jim Morrison and the Doors. 

Continue reading