Daily Archives: September 8, 2010

Victor Davis Hanson, I hate you!

For writing this, “Our Waning Obama Worship.”  I could have written that.  I was planning on writing that. Only it wouldn’t have been as brilliant. Or as funny. It would have bored people… Enough. I just hate you. I wish, oh, never mind…

Koran-burning in Florida

Some thoughts on an otherwise Meh view of the entire topic:

1. Why can’t liberals work up this much outrage when the damn camel humping pedophile Mooselimbs burn our American flag? 

2.  Who cares whether Mooselimbs like it or not?  Matter of fact, anything that pisses them off, I’m in favor of doing it even more!

3.  GIs might be killed if the Koran is burned? You mean those guys that are trying to kill our GIs don’t already hate us and aren’t really trying their damnedest to kill our GIs?  [By the way, it appears that Google has made it difficult to find photos of what they did to the corpses of soldiers that they killed.]

4.  I love seeing liberals’ panties twisted in knots almost as much as I love pissing off Mooselimbs.  Liberals all are rushing to condemn the burnings, and falling all over themselves with who can use the most condemnatory language:  The burnings are (in no particular order) “outrageous, idiotic, dangerous, disgraceful, disrespectful, distasteful, extremely unwise, and funnier than shit.”  [Okay, I made that last one up!]  I haven’t seen liberals feigning this much outrage since Kahlid Sheik Mohammed got waterboarded!

5.  Let’s be smart about this issue:  Is burning the Koran (the vile book that supposedly endorses honor killings, female genital mutilation, pedophilia, beheadings and other bullshit that civilized societies stopped doing centuries ago–if they ever did those things) the right thing to do? By that I mean is this the most effective way to destroy every damn one of those vile books.  Does the amount of heat gained during the fire offset the pollution? Is this the most cost-effective way to destroy them?  Perhaps we should just shred them and let PETA use them to line dog cages just before they euthanize them.  Or maybe Charmin can recycle the paper so that every American can get a chance to wipe his or her ass with the Koran.  Damn, I better rush out and patent this one!

Cue up the whiney liberal twisted knicker condemnations of this post in 3-2-1, go!

John Doe (Saying the things that you agree with but can’t admit to publicly!)

UPDATE: Hillbuzz is asking similar questions about liberals on this issue, but, as usual, in a more civilized manner than here when John Doe handles a topic. 

“Islam is the Scientology of its day, with Muhammad its L. Ron Hubbard, if Scientologists hated and abused women, persecuted and beheaded gays, and sought to crush freedom and liberty worldwide and enslave all people into dhimmihood.

“All this being said, in the subtle way we do things around here, the Koran should not be burned more than any other book should ever be burned.

“We believe it should be recycled as toilet paper, frankly, because that’s what we think of its worth to the world…but book burnings are something that need to be relegated to the dust heap of history, along with the rest of the Leni Reifenstahl trappings of Nuremburg rallies (Godwin’s Law alert!).”

[by John Doe: Damn it, somebody else thought of my recycling Koran idea!]

Firearms in Commerce: Assessing the Need for Reform in the Federal Regulatory Process–BEHIND THE SCENES

So the Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Patrick Leahy wants to ban guns, does he?  Well, in a Smash Mouth exclusive, we have inside the Oval Office details of what went on when the news broke! 

President Obama answering the phone:  “This is President Obama…Oh, hello Sir…I did not know that!  That “dirty M’fer” who, Sir?  Patrick “Dumbass”?  Er, do you mean Senator Leahy?…Oh, yes sir, sorry sir…”

President Obama at this point held the phone away from his ear with a grimace on his face.  Loud profanities were heard coming out of the phone.  After several seconds the caller appeared to calm down but continued in a loud, commanding voice: 

…”Yes Sir!…ugh huh…Sorry Sir…yes, I am a dumbass, sir, I apologize for saying ugh huh, Sir!  Yes, Sir, I will call that “son of a bitch” right away, Sir!  Thank you Mr. Soros for bringing this to my “stupid ass” attention, Sir!”

President Obama here tries to regain his dignity.  He straightens up his tie.  He hands the phone to his secretary and demands that she get Senator Patrick Leahy on the line, “immediately.”  She does, but then President Obama makes him wait while he takes a few hits off what appeared to be a crack pipe.  Finally exhaling the last bit of smoke, he took a deep breath and began speaking to whomever was on the other line. 

“Leahy you dumbass old hippie, what the hell are you doing bringing up a hearing on gun control only a few weeks before the fall elections!?  George is soooooo pissed, and after hearing his reasons, so am I!…Yes, I know that your seat is safe…Yes, I’d love nothing more than to ban the sale of all guns…Yes, I know I promised you that I would ban all guns during my first term, but…Yes, I did mean it…Yes, I know we might lose the House and Senate  this fall…Yes, I know it is our plan that the lame duck session of Congress will ban all guns before the new lawmakers are sworn in [here he covered up the phone and said ‘Allah be praised!’]…Yes, ugh huh, I will veto any attempt to overturn that ban, of course!  Allah, er, I mean God put me into office for a reason!…Ugh, huh…yes…I see…Okay, Pat, you convinced me, let’s do this. But you have to call Mr. Soros and straighten things out with ‘the Boss.’  He thinks that this will be like pouring gasoline on the fires, and that for a little short-term gain we will lose a tremendous amount of popularity with the voters…Oh, Pat, don’t call Mr. Soros a rotten bastard, I think he has my office and my phones bugged.  Somebody sure seems to have it bugged…Yes, goodbye Comrad!”

With that President Obama thrust the phone back to his secretary, grabbed the pipe and some stash and left.  As he was leaving he said, “Clear the rest of my calendar today, I need to go golfing.  This job is so stressful!” 

John Doe

Hartford City Counsel to begin with Muslim Prayers

Certified, Grade A, non-Mooselimb!

That idiots infest city counsels in New England is of no interest to me.  Although I wonder if they make sure that the Imams refrain from ending “In Jesus’ name, Amen?” 

What is of interest to me is of what substance  the local Imams’ prayers might consist of on such occasions?  “Dear Allah, thank you that these Amelican dogs are so stupid that they help us infest Amelica until we become a majority and force Sharia Law down their ugly Amelican dog throats!  We can’t wait until we can behead those in Amelica who convert to some other religion!  Amelika would be so much nicer with more camels and sheep! And some of those little white boys sure are cute!  Allah be praised for stonings and honor killings and female genital mutilation!

Oh, yes, and please Allah, allow your humble servants to have the nerve to strap on a bomb under our tunics before we attend the next city council meeting! Or at least give us the courage to smuggle our latest gift from Barack Hussein Obama into the meeting to behead those useful idiots! Allah akbar!”


John Doe