In an alternate universe, if Obama was not such a puppet and if his advisers had more brains, if Nancy Pelosi wasn’t so drunk on the blood of virgins, and Harry Reid wasn’t such a numskull, the upcoming elections could have been a disaster for Republicans and a outside-looking in experience for conservatives. How, you ask? John Doe will tell you.
Remember the 80% approval ratings when he was inaugurated? Remember gritting your teeth and fighting the bile rising in the back of your throat when “The Won” was conning America, making believe that he was a centrist? I do. But I’m not bitter. No “I told you so” in this post. I’m more interested in what the dumb socialist did wrong.
I think winning went to his head. He took the election and his early approval ratings as evidence that Americans agreed with his far left positions. In the immortal words of “Pretty Woman:” “Mistake. BIG mistake.” You big dope! Did you forget that you ran as a centrist!? You were going to cut taxes on all but the top 5%? This is sort of like driving by and slowing down and stopping and looking at road kill, but hey, somebody has to dissect how and why Obamster came to this place where the Democrats are going to get killed in the upcoming election. Might as well be me. In roughly chronological order, and with zero preparation so I’ll forget big events, here goes:
The “I won” comment. The bowing and scraping to our enemies, the dissing of our allies. We noticed, Dear Leader. Hmmm. Community Organizer in Chief seems to be in over his head. A few small percentages slipped away.
The “Stimulus Package.” Ahhh. The Stimulus package. The road signs, “Paid for by the fucking re-elect Democrats Porkulus Bill.” Do you think we are stupid!?? You sat on your hands and allowed Pelosi and Reid to give huge chunks of our our childrens’ our grandchildrens’ money–borrowed from the Chinese–to pay for a bunch of shit that we do not need, in a misguided attempt to stimulate the economy. If Keynes was right, then why stop at a trillion or two? Why not borrow an infinitesimal amount? If a little is good, a hell of a lot more is better! Let’s spend our way into oblivion you little turtle neck wearing community organizer, you. Oh, and we noticed when you jammed it down our throats with only a de minimus amount of “bi-partisan support.” A small percentage more of the populace said “Enough.”
You took over Chrysler and G.M. Oh, what a hero! What a great guy! You saved the jobs of a bunch of Democrats. For awhile. You stole from the creditors, the ones who had lent their hard-earned money to keep those two rotten companies afloat, and gave their money to the loyal Dem unions. You even interfered and made sure that Republican dealerships were discontinued, and looked out for the Democrat dealerships. Hoorah! Good for you. You kept your base. You thought we wouldn’t notice. But a few more percentages were appalled and stopped supporting you.
Oh, you were on a roll now. You sat back and let Pelosi/Reid try to jam “Tax and Trade” down our throats. OMG, imagine if that had gone through. Even your beloved Allah couldn’t save your approval ratings then. But you lost some more support.
But you stepped up when ObamaCare was failing. The will of the people be-damned! “I won!” In retrospect, Sir, perhaps you should have listened to the polls. Wow. Just wow! You lost political capital that you could not spare.
The appointments. Dayaaamn. Sliding all those perverts and far leftist extremists, was that really a good idea? One or two, I can see, but did you reeeeallly think that the American public wouldn’t notice a pattern there? More percentage points lost.
Gulf oil spill: Good God man, didn’t you learn from Bush’s Katrina? Sitting on your ass or playing golf, taking vacations and going on fund-raisers, while “the worst ecological disaster EVUH” was going on!!?? I thought you were “urbane,” sophisticated, intelligent, blah blah blah. A retard (thanks Rahm) could have told you that you were screwing up. You leaked support faster than an old women into her Depends.
Oh Barack, I’ll stop here. I’ll leave out the “Recovery Summer” and the knee-jerk racism, the unilateral disarmament of America, the seemingly default support of our enemies and opposition of America and our allies. We din’t notice that support those who enter America illegally, but attack those who are trying to enforce our laws, really. Just keep on doing the great, wonderful, ANNOINTED job that you are doing. All is well. The November election will be fine.