So I got a letter in the mail from the U.S. Government. It appeared to be a form letter, so I’m thinking the same threat was sent to many other people, too.
In essence, they told me that they stored my body scan image after my recent airline travel adventure. And they said that they are going to release copies of it to the media if I don’t pay them $10,000 in “assessed fees.” Of course, I ain’t paying. This is just a preemptive strike. Here is the scan that they claim is me.
So, to all my friends and acquaintances, I SWEAR that ain’t me. My junk might be small average above average but I swear, that ain’t me!! My junk is so huge that can’t possibly be me! Really.
p.s. Mebbe that’s Lipton, but that ain’t me! Mike, is that you?!