Feds are trying to black-mail me!

So I got a letter in the mail from the U.S. Government.  It appeared to be a form letter, so I’m thinking the same threat was sent to many other people, too. 

In essence, they told me that they stored my body scan image after my recent airline travel adventure.  And they said that they are going to release copies of it to the media if I don’t pay them $10,000 in “assessed fees.”   Of course, I ain’t paying. This is just a preemptive strike.  Here is the scan that they claim is me. 

Lipton or Mike, not sure which!

So, to all my friends and acquaintances, I SWEAR that ain’t me.  My junk might be small average above average  but I swear, that ain’t me!! My junk is so huge that can’t possibly be me!  Really.

John Doe

p.s. Mebbe that’s Lipton, but that ain’t me! Mike, is that you?!

9 responses to “Feds are trying to black-mail me!

  1. Pingback: The Righteous Rant Of The Day… « The Camp Of The Saints

  2. I donnoe JD…

    From what I’ve seen of those nude statues in the Museum of Culture and Refinement that package ain’t that puny…

    Appears to be a fairly well stacked and packed Rucksack, especially from the rear…but then I’ve always been a “day late and a little short”…

  3. ‘sides, I aint never been through one o’ them Body Scanners.

  4. Pingback: BLACKMAIL! | The Daley Gator

  5. my solution to my, er, uh, highly attuned dislike of such an unnatural act of being packed like a sardine into a can that flies thousands of feet above the earth? copious amounts of alcohol, liberally applied just before and thereafter take off until un-boarding! Cleveland happens to have a great micro-brewery in their terminal…

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