Sojournors: God wants you to give us money because of the oil spill, er something like that

I couldn’t make this crap up.  Here verbatum is an email sent from those scum at Sojournors.  Remember God, or Gaia as some progressives call him her it (please forgive my blasphemy Lord; I was just doing it to make a point about what nuts liberals are) is a liberal who believes in saving the planet and global warming and all that crap. 

“Dear Tram (Don’t axe–it’s the false name on my yahoo email account)

 “We’re leading Christians across the nation in a faithful, prayerful conversion in response to the Gulf oil spill.”

“And we’re ready for the next steps!”

Help us raise $25,000 today!

“The earth’s open wound gushing in the Gulf of Mexico appears to be weeks or months away from a viable solution. The stage is now set for a long-term crisis response struggle between BP, the government, and the people most affected by the spill.”

“Meanwhile, new polls show that the American public is becoming less concerned about global warming and its effects.1 The Gulf catastrophe presents an enormous reality check of our failure to care for God’s creation.”

“Because one of Sojourners’ top three long-term priorities [what are the other two?  Keeping democrats in control of the WH and Congress? Supporting the Jihad against the U.S.A.?] is creation care, we’re committed to providing a faithful response to the disaster in the Gulf – informing, resourcing, and moving Christians to action. Last month we asked you to join our Sustainers Circle and support our work on this and all issues.”

[Sorry–I neglected to join your Sustainer Circle!]

“Today, we are again asking you to fund this important work.

“We’re inviting you to give a gift of $25, $50, or $100 to help us move progressive faith activists to work for better legislation, as well as educate the public about the need to reduce our own energy use.”  Do it for the children! Save the whales.  Mother Gaia told us to tell you give, damn it!  ~Okay, I made up those last three sentences, but you know they sounded right in character with the moron who wrote this email.   

“Jim Wallis and other faith leaders will soon be heading to the Gulf for a listening tour with our partners at the Sierra Club. Jim wants to let the people there know that the nation is in this together and that he is ready to listen. Sojourners will use our media platforms and relationships with the press to challenge the churches to action.

“Since we last wrote, here is what we’ve already accomplished:

  • We sought the responses of your fellow Sojourners in the Gulf region. Their cries, in the form of prayers, reflections, and songs, are being published in a “Voices from the Gulf” series on our God’s Politics blog and are helping inform our work on this issue.
  • We invited you to make a “Pledge to the Next Generation,” taking responsibility for our oil addiction and seeking conversion. Thousands of you have already pledged and shared your commitment in our Facebook community.
  • We convened top national faith leaders, in a phone call with Sen. John Kerry, to hear his proposal for energy and climate legislation and to make recommendations to increase his bill’s care for the most vulnerable communities.
  • We collected prayerful and theological responses to images from the disaster, which will be featured in our August Sojourners magazine.”

“Because this is a problem that will not be easily solved or forgotten, we will continue to find faithful and creative ways to remind people that transformation of our nation’s energy sector is more important than ever. Our work is always a blend of vision with partnership – sometimes with other key faith leaders, but most frequently with you. Our faithful readers make our work possible. Will you give today?”  [Here, biotch.  Take my last, oil-stained greenback, the only one that I didn’t lose to my Texas Hold ’em buds on Monday, and choke on it!]


Lisa, Leah, Rob, and all your friends at Sojourners

You. Cannot. Make. This. Shit up. 

John Doe


3 responses to “Sojournors: God wants you to give us money because of the oil spill, er something like that

  1. So JD…do they have a blog where you go and make comments just to f@&k with them, much like the liberal trolls do to conservative blogs?

    Jus’ wonderin’ 😉

  2. Gents…

    Don’t go gettin’ all despondent on me here…
    Here’s a fine cause we can all be enthusiastic about…!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s