I was on my way home from poker, not the deer. He got in my way so I ran him over. Basically, I was almost home. I was on the expressway just about to my exit. This damn deer came from the median, ran across two lanes and directly in front of my car. I slammed on the brakes but had no chance to stop. Hit him right in the drivers’ side front, he went up onto my hood and over the top, and landed dead in the road.
I was a little hyped up; I don’t enjoy killing deer. I did not know what to do. The little button buck was small and fit neatly into my trunk. He only weighed about 65 lbs. I had visions of taking him home and making venison jerky out of him. Then I thought of all the hassle, he wasn’t very big, and I do not even think it is legal in Virginia to keep road killed deer.
So I did what any bone weary poker player would have done at 2:30 a.m. after hours of poker and wine [no, I was not intoxicated, thank you]. I dropped him off in the parking lot of a local office complex. Bet they got a surprise in the a.m. upon arriving for work. Hey, if I left him in the highway he would have turned to mush after a few trucks ran over him. This way, I’m hoping somebody will make use of him. If not, not my problem…
Fortunately I have comprehensive and only a $100 deductible, cuz there is much property damage to my car. The front bumper is plastic and got smashed and ripped. Crap.
A real man would have at least cut off the hind quarter of the side that didn’t hit the car, and certainly would have cut out the tenderloins. I just was too damn lazy. True confessions of a used up ex-woodsman.