Poker is EVIL and should be outlawed!

I woke up at 4:00 a.m. E.S.T. and could not sleep.  My sleep pattern was disrupted from events that transpired not this night but the night before.  After reading all about the upcoming draft, by 7:21 a.m. I decided to write about my Thursday night poker transgressions. 

Eight of us showed up for our weekly cash poker at D.T.’s house.  I took $1,400, which I couldn’t afford to lose.  I bought in for $300.  We played two rounds of no limit Texas Hold ’em, followed by a round of Omaha 8 pot limit, and kept that up all night. I had crappy cards early, and got felted early.  I bought in for another $300, lost most of that, padded up for another $200, lost all that, and lost track of how much cash I had left. 

I looked in my bank envelope around 10:00 p.m. and was surprised that there was only $300 left, so I quickly bought in for all that.  Things got worse.  By 11:00 p.m. I had lost it all.  No groceries this week, kids, I sadly thought to myself.  At least the wine and pizza were “free” at D.T.’s house.  

I lost all my chips, and had no money left.  The A.T.M. is just down the street, but my bank account was tapped out.  “D.T., am I going home?”  Our host sometimes but not always will put the regulars “on the finger.”  No vig, but you have to pay it back the next week, or risk losing the privilege.  He looked at his records, saw how much I was in for (he won’t lend to those who come short-stacked to begin with), and said he could lend me as high as $500.   I asked for it all at once. 

A few hands later, playing hold ’em, I had A4 suited, and flopped the nut flush draw with 579, two of my same suit.  So naturally I raised $100.  (We play $5-$5 blinds, but usually somebody raises so there was already probably $100 or more preflop.)  J.B. to my left raised me $300!   I was thinking, “oh, crap, I have a great draw, but I don’t want to risk all my money on a draw (roughly 36% to hit).  Then somebody past him (Jesus?) raised all in!  “Oh, crap,” I thought to myself.  Now I had to push all in myself.  That extra money made the draw worth it.  My entire night was resting on a draw.  I pushed all in, and so did J.B.  There was roughly $1,800 bucks in there that I could win.

J.B. it turns out had flopped a set of 7s, and the other guy had flopped the nuts– a straight to the 9.  I had to hit my suit and it could not pair the board (or J.B. would have quads or a full boat).  The turn was a blank.  I was down to less than 18%.  The river gave me the nut flush!  I stood up, raised my arms in exultation, and yelled “Yesssssssssss!” 

The other two guys just groaned.  “Oh, sorry,” I said, “but I needed that one.”  I was back in business! 

Not much happened the next hour or so, I was playing cautiously, trying not to lose what I had gained. I was almost even.  Then (again in Hold ’em) I was dealt a pair of bitches.  I hate bitches.  Can’t win with bitches.  So I made a big raise (considering the size of the pot) to something like $50.  I just wanted to win the $20 or so that was in there and move on to the next hand.  But J.B. called me.  Groan.  We would  have to see a flop.  The flop was total crap, something like 2,3, and 9 off-suit.  If you have to have pocket Qs, at least you want to be heads up and you want to  see a cruddy flop.  I raised to $100.  I just wanted to take it down, and I knew that flop didn’t hit J.B. 

To my shock he re-raised me to $300!  I looked at that board. No straight or flush draws.  J.B. is a bastard sometimes when he has position on you.  I have seen him raise like that with total crap.  I thought he might be playing back at me, thinking that I had AK or some such and that the flop had not hit me, either.  I looked at his stack, it was smaller than mine, perhaps about $1,000  $700 more after his raise.  I knew I couldn’t just call, and I couldn’t fold.  Not to that bluffer. 

Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was just momentary idiocy, I don’t know. But I pushed all in, saying “If  you got me beat, you got me beat.”   [I should have reraised him $300 and folded if he went all in.]  He insta-called and turned over pocket deuces. He called my big raise with deuces and hit a set!  $#@*&!   No drama, I just quickly lost about $1,200 of my money, and was back down to about $250 (down about $1,650 for the night).  Crap!

Some of the guys have regular jobs and have to get up early the next day.  Richard and Jesus left at about 12:30.  Jesus took around $3,000 in winnings when he left.  As D.T. said like he always says, “We have a firm cutoff of 2 a.m.–I gotta get some sleep.  I gotta work in the morning!”  Things looked really bleak, and I didn’t have much money left.  Oh, well. 

It got to be 2:00 a.m.  Only 4 of us were left.  Nellie busted out, and declined D.T.’s offer of going further on the finger.  He left in disgust.  Only J.B., D.T. and I remained.  “Well, maybe we can go a little longer…” D.T. said. 

To make a long story short, we played three-handed.  For the next 4 1/2 hours.  D.T. was falling asleep at the table for the last 1/2 hour.  He wanted to keep playing, and so did J.B., because I had money!  But they couldn’t get it from me.  The money went back and forth, round and round, but when the sun came up and the game broke up, I left with $1,100 in winnings, even after repaying the finger that I owed. Yup, won back my entire $1,400 initial cash and $500 finger from D.T., and had an extra $1,100!

I rolled in just as my wife was getting up to get ready for work.  Didn’t bother her, this happens all too often.  Especially when I told her how much I won.  She used to be suspicious, but not any more.  She’s a great wife. 

I tried to get some sleep, but only slept from about 7-9:30 am.  I spent a groggy day getting almost nothing done.  I fell asleep on the couch about noon, but my daughter returned home about 1 p.m.  and woke me up.  Crap.  I spent the rest of the day in a fog. 

I text messaged D.T. about 4:30 pm, “Sleep is way OVER rated!”  I knew that he was doing even worse than I was–he probably only got about an hour and a half of sleep.  He never replied–probably threw his phone against the wall when he got my text.   I felt like crap–and hated myself for staying out so late and hated poker in general.  The only worse feeling is playing all night and losing.  D.T. had probably lost a couple of grand.  I went to bed early, that’s why I woke up early and wrote this article. 

Today (Saturday) I have a  weekly Hold ’em tournament to attend at Kurt’s.   Can’t wait until next week–usually Thursday–for D.T.’s next game.  Isn’t poker wonderful!?

4 responses to “Poker is EVIL and should be outlawed!

  1. Yes great story , i`m happy for you but as you can see not everytime happens this way , just need patience

  2. great post.but i like the girl the most,nice choice,lol

  3. Wonderful post, it’s so evil🙂

  4. This is very useful information about rakeback and i like it, but if you need more similar information about rakeback then visit
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