Daily Archives: January 17, 2010

Iowa Hawk readers produce commercials for Martha Coakley

Iowahawk has some geniuses who read his site! I approve. Here is one of multiple great “commercials”:

{Multiple, sequential pictures of Ted Kennedy, face only}

Narrator: For over forty years, this man served Massachusetts in the US Senator.

{Picture of car sinking into water}

Narrator: Even after Ted Kennedy killed a staffer…

{Picture of young, bikini-clad woman}

Narrator: Even after Ted Kennedy covered up for relatives who raped and abused young women…

{Picture of windmills}

Narrator: Even after Ted Kennedy betrayed your desire for clean alternative energy by obstructing windmills that would mess up his view…

{Back to Kennedy}

Narrator: You understood how important it was to keep him in the Senate.

{Picture of someone making a retarded face}

Narrator: Why? Because you’re idiots. You’re mindless drones. You don’t know your ass from a hole in the ground. You are brainwashed liberals who will do whatever the Democratic Party tells you to do.

{Picture of Coakley}

Narrator: So here is your next assignment. Ted Kennedy is gone, and his corpse is not eligible to serve in the Senate. So the Democratic Party has searched long and hard to find someone who reflects Kennedy’s values and lack of abilities. Go out on Tuesday and vote for Martha Coakley for Senate.

{Picture of Scott Brown}

Narrator: This is her opponent. He’s a Republican, so you can’t vote for him. That’s all you need to know. Don’t ask any questions. Just go vote for Coakley the same way you voted for Kennedy for decades.

In case you needed encouragement to donate to Haiti relief

Warning, not safe, period…

Continue reading