Teach a liberal how to be a conservative about healthcare insurance

Get them to pay for all or part of the health insurance premium of  individual conservatives.  So many liberals complain that many can’t afford health insurance.  There are many conservatives who “can’t afford” health insurance, too.  So on the assumption that some liberals just don’t know any better, or that they have never really thought the concept of ObamaCare through, I hereby offer my services to line up “needy” conservatives with liberals who want to join this program.  Starting with me.

I am self-employed and for a family of 4 pay $12,000 a year for medical insurance.  I can’t afford it.  I’m not asking anybody to pay me $12,000 a year.  But how about if four liberals out there pay me $4,000 per year?  Or if six of ya’ll pay me $2,000?  Heck, I’ll even accept $1,000 a year from twelve of  you’ns.  That way, you can enjoy the warmth and satisfaction of helping a needy family afford health insurance, while at the same time learning that it is not so easy to support new government spending when the money to pay for it is coming directly out of your own bank account.  

When liberals say “We are a rich nation, we can afford to pay for health insurance for everybody”, what they really mean is “make somebody else pay for it.”   It’s easy to be liberal with Other People’s Money.  That’s the essence of being a fiscal liberal.  Many (most?) of the same persons out there who favor universal government health insurance for all would never dream of joining my program.  Because they would have to pay for it.

But my program is superior to any government run single-payer program.  It bypasses the government bureaucracy.  No sticky fingers in Washington ever see the money, to take large chunks out of it.  No waste, fraud or abuse.  Your money goes directly into my bank account, and is used solely for the purpose of purchasing health insurance.  This way, we all get to have private health insurance–which we all secretly agree is far superior government run insurance–without increasing the size of government and without losing our freedoms. 

Under my program, health insurance purchasers (those lucky conservatives who are having their health insurance paid for by participating  liberals) will be encouraged to shop around for the lowest priced health insurance out there.  In my case, for instance, I’ve decided that the most I can afford with my own money is $12,000 per year.  But when  liberals start paying the bill, I may decide to get them to pay extra, to get me the super deluxe, all the bells and whistles policy.  But anything above my $12,000 base-line must be paid for by me. 

However, if I suddenly find a lower priced policy that will suit me, I get to keep the remainder of the money that ya’ll sent to me.   I can use it for whatever purpose I want, from beer and poker to a new fishing pole, heck, even tips for the pole dancing girls (not for me personally, I’m talking hypothetically here–lighten up, it was a joke).  This incentivizes each lucky conservative to shop for the lowest priced insurance, which in turn incentivizes the evil insurance companies, greedy to make a profit, to offer the lowest insurance premiums possible.

And if the lucky conservatives spend your money on something other than insurance premiums, it will just stimulate the economy and help us all.  Brewers, fishing pole makers and pole dancers have to eat too, doncha know?  My program features capitalism at its finest. 

And while we are at it, once my $12,000 health insurance premium is paid, I’ll take 10% off the top from the premiums paid for other lucky conservatives that I hook up with gullible willing liberals.  Hey, my family has to eat. I came up with the idea for this, so I ought to make a little profit. It will take work finding lucky conservative families to match up with gullible willing liberals.  In the end, needy conservatives get their health insurance premiums paid for, liberals get the joy of helping others without using O.P.M., I earn a bit of a profit, and the economy prospers.  What do you say all you liberals who favor ObamaCare?  All you liberals who yearn to help the needy afford health insurance? 

If you are willing, gladly leave me your name, address, phone

Don't forget the card number and expiration date!

number, credit card (we accept Visa, MasterCard or American Express) and card number and expiration date, or the name of your bank, your account number, and the amount of money in your account, in a message attached to this post.  You have my solemn vow that I won’t withdraw more money than is absolutely necessary to help myself and other needy conservatives out there.

2 responses to “Teach a liberal how to be a conservative about healthcare insurance

  1. In a perfect world, DebSF, Jeremy and Lowell would each split your insurance premium. I’ve got some well-to-do liberal cousins who could pay mine. As an added benefit, I’ll match the “donors” to the recipients to maximize the recipients’ joy.

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