Monthly Archives: October 2009

NY-23 as seen from the perspective of the GOP bosses

This is a stream of consciousness as to how the Republican party bosses view the recent conservative rebellion in the NY-23 race, and Dede Scozzafava’s decision* to suspend her campaign:

Oh shit!  The inmates are in control of the asylum. Conservatives out-number us by a vast majority.  Up until now, we’ve been able to control them as a jockey does a thoroughbred.  With a bit in their mouth, a firm grip on the reins, and a heavy hand on the whip when necessary.  But this NY-23 fiasco has exposed us as weak and ineffectual.  And has allowed them to realize that they have the ability to spit out the bit, tear off the reins, throw their rider and run free without our control. They just don’t know it yet.”

“Don’t panic.  Don’t act as though this is a momentus occasion that could shake our party to its foundations.  Pretend that we have shifted our support to Doug Hoffman (that rebellius bastard!) and act as though we wholeheartedly support his candidacy.  Ha!  We’d cut out his gizzard if we could get away with it.  He had the temerity to defy our edict and the audacity to switch parties.  And now apparently he has the momentum to win the race.”

“But don’t panic.  Act normal.  Shower him with kindness, make him beholden to us.  Turn him into another starry-eyed freshman Representative who does exactly what we want, when we want it. Give him the perks, the power, the prestige. Show him how to behave, what he must do in order to avoid the wrath of the mainstream media.  Turn him to the dark side (that rebellious bastard).”

“And Newt Gingrich (that worthless bastard) has got to go.  We always used him in the past as our “go-to” token conservative, to turn the radicals in the asylum, gently, slowly, to our way of thinking, without them realizing that is what we were doing.  His usefulness as our tool is OVAH! Let him go back to his joint appearances with Hillary, or whatever he did before he crawled out from wherever he’s been the past few years.  But make him go away. We sure as hell don’t like him, we never did, and now that he has alienated the conservative wing of our party, he is no longer necessary. Be gone Newt.”

“Let us fix our eyes on the conservative leaders (those rebellious 006_Al_Caponebastards) who jumped ship and supported Doug Hoffman early on, before it became apparent that he had a chance. [In our best impression of  Robert De Niro as Al Capone voice:] Sarah Palin!? We want her dead!  Tim Pawlenty!!? DEAD! Dick Armey? DEAD! George Pataki!!? He’s a dead man!   Steve Forbes!? History!” Continue reading

Bob McDonnell promises to lynch all pro-abortionists

Bob McDonnell, Republican candidate for Governor in Virginia


(some say that Bob looks alot like John Doe--no we are not the same guy)

, has promised to personally lynch all persons who are pro abortion.  “It just seems like the right thing to do.  I like blood, I hate abortion, and since I am going to be elected Governor of Virginia, I’ll have the power to get away with it.  That’s what they taught me at ‘Pat Robertson’s college’ any way!” [No, wait, he didn’t say that, but that is how the AIDS breaths over on the leftist blogs are reacting.]

“I can’t believe this is happening in America” Lowell of Blow Virginia said.  “I thought all of Virginia preferred immoral queers and godless abortionists!” [Just kidding there–Lowell must have been off to the national NAMBLA convention, because I haven’t yet heard from him on this issue.] Continue reading

An ode to Miami Beach

If you have never been there, here is some of what you are missing!


South Beach, Miami Florida


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Should conservatives support liberal Republicans?


This is one conservative who is tired of getting Snowe jobs from RINOs

Jonah Goldberg speaks for me [The National Review]:

…it seems to me that for conservatives this is something of a no-brainer. I’ve said a million times that I’m a Republican by default because the GOP is the more conservative of the two major parties. If a sensible conservative can beat a liberal Republican, then I see no reason to support the Republican out of some team mentality.”

“William F. Buckley’s policy was always that he was for the most conservative candidate electable. This has always struck me as the most pithy and most sensible statement on these kinds of questions….[protest votes against good candidates are dumb.] I agree entirely that the GOP needs more moderates. It needs more everybody. But in NY 23, Hoffman can win. That means he’s not a protest vote, he’s a vote for the most conservative candidate electable. Vote for Doug Hoffman.” Continue reading

Smash Mouth explores “foreign relations”

We travel the world looking for beautiful women, so you don’t have to!  A little of Robert Stacy McCain’s “Rule 5” action for your weekend enjoyment. [And being a proud Michigander by birth, I would be seriously remiss if I did not link to “The Classic Liberal’s” roundup of sexy Michigan lasses in bikinis!] 


Miss Japan 2009 (I'm sensing a wee bit o caucasion in her background)

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Steven LaTourette, R-OH, eviscerates “the party of no” whiners

He wins the speech of the week award, accomplished in under a minute and a half. [How does one spell “Waaah!?”]


Obama “hate crime” bill

Obama “logic”: “No one in America should ever be afraid to walk down the street holding the hands of the person they love.”








John Doe’s road trip

John and No. 1 son went on a spur of the moment raod trip to celebrate Smash Mouth Politic’s first anniversary in existence!  Of course, the purported reason was to test the theory that late run salmon still roamed the Manistee River in north western Michigan, just down stream from the Tippee Damn.  But we know that John never misses an opportunity to see family, drink beer, and eat Aunt Teri’s home cooking! Continue reading


Smash Mouth Politics began as a little sprout of a blog that split off from The Toxic Mud Pit late October of 2008 when Megan asked the logical question: “Why don’t you start your own blog if you don’t like how I run mine?” 

It began to dominate the BlogNetNews and became so popular that Vivian Paige, the editor of the Virginia portion, stopped running our articles there.  Why? Because she is a gutless liberal whose first inclination is to censor opposing views.  And because David Mastio, the Editor of the entire bloginator is gutless and allows her to get away with it.

Fortunately, you can’t keep a good blog down.  Our hits have been growing almost expotentially.  And while we haven’t made that elusive …”One Million Hits in under a  year“, it is because we haven’t followed Robert Stacy McCain’s advice to the T, and not because his advice isn’t golden.

Here is a screenshot from today of the chart showing our hits per month since our very beginning.  All these people are viewing Smash Mouth Politics. Shouldn’t YOU add us to your list of “Favorites”?


Looks like the internet Viagra has kicked in

Closed until 10/29/09

Celebrating our first year anniversary of this blog’s existence.  Hopefully, will have photos then to explain my absence.