I mean, come on. A majority of right-thinking males over the age of 25 are conservatives in America. But New England hasn’t voted for a conservative since Ronald Reagan. What is wrong with the “men” of New England? Instead of circumcision, do they perform vascetomies on the New England baby boys? Do they teach them to squat to pee up there? Perhaps the fact that so many of them live in cities, and have never shot a deer, or skinned a rabbit, or changed a fan belt on a Ford F-150 in the middle of the night has something to do with it.
Or perhaps it has something to do with what they are taught in school. Maybe New England men are so ignorant because they are taught to believe that liberal pablum from pre-school on, and they never learn to think for themselves. A theory of mine is that a certain critical mass was reached a couple of decades ago, when a majority of New England men became f#cking panzies. Then, the little girly-men growing up–being taught the pablum of liberalism since they sucked on Mummy’s teats while swaddled in red diapers–never had a proper male role model. They learned from watching their feminine fathers and uncles and other male role models that it is normal to have the government run your life and care for all your needs. They were taught that real men are rednecks and Nazis and and gun nuts, and thus to be avoided.
Perhaps the only solution is to invade New England and lock up all the liberal girly-men in re-education camps. I know, that would be one whopper of a camp system, but I don’t see any realistic alternatives. We can’t very well nuke such an important part of the country. Where would we get our lobstah from? (By the way, it goes without saying that you lobstah and fishermen aren’t included in this rant, nor are you lumberjacks, truckers, and other assorted good-ole boys who live up yonder. I’m trying to help youse guys–you know that you are outnumbered by sissy boys who dress like preppies and walk like girls.)
Or maybe we can just require all liberals to wear this shirt: “I’m a bed-wetting liberal sissy wuss!” Even available in pink for you New England boys…
Come on, you know that the majority of New England men are pussies. The real question is why? Maybe the John Birchers were on to something, maybe it IS the flouride in the water.