Gov. of Massachusetts supports changing the law to appoint new Senator

BOSTON (AP) Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick said Wednesday he would support changing state law to allow him to appoint any old drunk fat bastard off the street as an interim successor to Sen. Edward Kennedy’s seat while a special election is held.

“Massachusetts needs two voices” in the Senate, Patrick said. “We’ve had a fat drunken bastard in the seat so long that the good citizens of our fair Commonwealth won’t know what to do without one as their Senator.  At first I considered appointing a moron, but then I forgot that we already have the United State’s first moron as our other Senator, the VIETNAM VET Senator John Kerry Heinz.”

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