Monthly Archives: July 2009

I’ll support queers in the military when every Legislator first gets a blood transfusion from a queer

I’ve been giving blood for years. One of the FIRST questions that they ask is something like this if you are a man: “Have you EVER had sex with a man since 1977.”  Hmmm. Now why would they axe that, Alice? Because homosexual activity puts a person’s blood at high risk to transmit HIV/AIDS.  I assume (without any facts to support it) that G.I.s occasionally are called upon to donate blood to comrades, especially in times of crisis.  And also, medics and comrades in the field are occasionally called upon to administer first aid to fellow wounded G.I.s.  None of our warriers should have to think twice about some fairy who is in the foxhole with him.  Period, end of story.   Continue reading

President Obama’s campaign promises redux

Imagine if Obama campaigned by telling the truth!

“I will immediately travel abroad and apologize for America to every country I visit. I’ll scrape and bow to the Saudi leader. The only country I’ll alienate will be Israel.  When a south American socialist leader attempts to emulate Chavez by becoming a dictator for life, and his country overthrows him–I’ll side with the socialist dictator.”

“Although I condemned George Bush’s policies regarding the war on terror, I’ll not deviate from them in the least. I’ll keep the inmates in Guantanimo, I’ll keep the troops in Iraq as long as it takes.  I will continue to use remote controlled bombs to assassinate suspected al Qaeda troops. Or wedding parties.  No, wait, I will increase the number of troops in Afghanistan. I will tell all the world that no matter what we will never use harsh interrogations on suspected terrorists again. Rest easy my friends.  I’ll tell the world that America isn’t a Christian nation. But that we are the “third largest Islamic nation.” 

“I’ll borrow and spend money that we don’t have so much faster than Bush and the Republicans did that I’ll make them look miserly.  I’ll take over entire industries, and put my Chicago thug buddies, and Goldman Sacks crooks in all the high places.  You can trust them!  I’ll cheat the people who loaned money to the automakers out of their fair share and give it to the UAW thugs who ran those companies into the ground (Hey, don’t blame me. I support those who supported me.)”  

“Best of all, I’ll raise every damn one of your taxes. A lot! Nobody is exempt! Cigarettes, health insurance, income taxes. Well, at first I’ll give you a crappy little $14 a month income tax cut.  Then I’ll blast a new hole in your ass! Won’t that be fun?” Continue reading

HOW freakin old am I?

"1957 Ghia Chrysler Diablo"

"1957 Ghia Chrysler Diablo"

I was less than a week old the last time the Detroit Lions won the NFL Championship!  Notice almost all the men attending the game wore Fedora’s? Notice the what we would now consider classic autos driving by in first few seconds of the tape? And Jim Brown was a rookie that year! Continue reading

How various politicians look at the health care issue

President Obama: “I can control 1/5 of the U.S. economy.  I can get all my  homies positions of power. I can have influence over who lives and who dies.  Nobody will dare to defy me, on any issue, or I’ll cut off their health insurance and let them and their family all die.  Oh, yeah, my mother ‘worried’ about paying her bills while she was dying, too.  Did I mention that I can control who gets health care, and who doesn’t? Hell, this is almost as sweet as ‘Reparations!’  I love power.”

 Teddy Kennedy: “God dammit, where my drink. Bwing Continue reading

McCain’s staffers thoroughly investigated the Obama birth certificate issue

When I heard that, I became convinced that the birth certificate was a dead issue. That settles it for me, end of story.  No room for debate. Zero. Zilch. Nada.  After all, McCain’s people also thoroughly vetted Sarah Palin…

Free legal representation is a fundamental right

Millions upon millions of Americans do not have access to a lawyer. Of those who do, most of them can’t afford their lawyer. Legal  fees are a leading cause of bankruptcy. Despairing American citizen, when faced with onerous lawsuits, are placed on the horn’s of a dilemma: refuse to pay exhorbitant legal fees, and lose and get bankrupted, or pay the legal fees, win, and still go bankrupt. 

Millions of indigent citizens are forced to use the Legal Aide Society for free legal advice. Others rely on free advice clinics put on by lawyers working pro bono.  When free legal advice is offered, some citizens come from hundreds of miles away to get something for nothing.

This travesty must stop.  Every American deserves his or her own lawyer! This is a basic American right, and the U.S. Government must pay for it!  Elect me as your next President! My new slogan is, “Everybody needs a lawyer. Everybody gets a lawyer!”   

Coming next week: Everybody needs a mechanic. Everybody gets a mechanic!

Transcript of 911 call to Professor Gates’ residence has been leaked

The way liberals see all cops

The way liberals see all cops

911 Operator: “911, how may I help you?”

[Anonymous white woman]: “I saw two n!@@ers breaking into the back door of a neighbor’s house. The address is [deleted].  This is a nice neighborhood. Can you send some white cops to stop them?”

911 Operator: “Sure thing Ma’am. Stay on the line while I call on the white cop hotline for some special white cops to respond.”

911 Operator: “Emergency! Attention nearest white officers: N!@@er break-in in progress at [deleted].  Respond immediately.  Code Two!”

White Officer Crowley: “10-4. I’m just down the street at a Dunkin Donuts. I’ll get those N!@@ers!”

[124 seconds later] White Officer Crowley: “I’m at the location and seeking the suspicious individuals. I’ll use my personal radio to keep in contact.”

White Officer Crowley to 911 Operator: “I caught two N!@@ers inside this fancy house. Get this! One is trying to say that he owns the place! I laughed out loud when he said that, and he got beligerent, so I cuffed him. Then I roughed him up. He is in custody and in the back of the squad car now!”

911 Operator: “Good job, White Officer Crowley! No N!@@ers can afford to live in that fancy neighborhood! And say, if you have any donuts left over, can you drop them by after you book his black ass?”

[Ok, I sorta made that up. That is my opinion about what the blacks and liberals expect it to see.  Now, here is what the conservative white folk think it will reveal. Continue reading

Ah am shocked, Sir!

Truly shocked!  European socialists favor Obama over Bush. Der Fuehrer has the approval of 78% of French who were polled recently.  There is no truth to the rumor that the French Armee leader said that it is in part because he “fights like the French.”  Meanwhile, when polls are taken of Americans–who actually bathe more than once a week–Obama’s approval rating is plummetting faster than Bill Clinton’s trousers when he is alone with a female intern.

Main reason that I’ve been distracted and not blogging much lately…


  Continue reading

Great new cite for Dumbass Dougie Mataconis and Loudoun Insider

RINOs doin what RINOs do best!

RINOs doin what RINOs do best!

YOu jUSt caN’t MAkE tHis SHiT uP!  A new “moderate” Republican website where an author claims Reagan was a “moderate”: “Gil Troy’s 2008 book, Leading from the Center: Why Moderates Make the Best Presidents, makes an excellent case that our greatest national leaders, from Washington to Lincoln to Ronald Reagan, have succeeded by hewing close to the American political center.”  

Bwahaahaaahaaa! Reagan was a “moderate.” I am old enough to remember the Reagan years. He was savagely attacked by the liberals and ridiculed by the moderates. Only We, The People supported him.  Lincoln a “moderate”? He suspended habeus corpus, jailed political opponents, sent Sherman marching to the sea, destroying all in his path.  Washington risked all that he had, including his life, when he was rich and had no need to rebel against the Crown.  The “moderates” stayed neutral,  waiting to see which side won while risking nothing. 

“Moderates” are cowards, too intellectually bankrupt to actually make a decision that is counter to the prevailing political center and stick with it. They are like weathervanes, shifting with the winds. Or turds, floating down a stream.  Barely intelligent enough to know that liberalism is a cancer on American society, but too cowardly to take a stand and fight against it.