To: President Obama
From: Rahm Emanuel, Chief of Staff
Regarding: President Obama’s Health Care (“Plan B”)
cc: Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Ted “The Lyin of the Senate” Kennedy, and all Democrat legislators
President Obama asked me to look into ways that we could save on health insurance. Specifically, he asked if we could save money by killing sick people. (Euphemism from now on will be “allow them to die” etc.)
America is facing a health care crisis. We have too many sick people and too few dollars to pay for health care. President Obama believes that we should be more selective in our decisions regarding where our health care dollars are spent. Statistically, most people do not need health insurance absent catastrophic injury or disease. An immediate and future reduction of expenditures on health care could be achieved by not wasting valueable resources on the very sick and instead “allowing them to die.” A “Blue-Ribbon” Panel could be empowered to decide who are too sick to save, and to authorize them to be “allowed to die” a natural death.
Chief among those who should be “allowed to die” will be the elderly, those with incurable diseases, those with chronic long-term expensive to treat diseases or injuries, those who are politically conservative, those who have been deemed to have medically serious problems that we do not want to be around, and those who are obese or those who smoke, drink, or chew, or go out with those who do.
The beauty of this plan is that President Obama can appoint the ones who will judge who is to be “allowed to die” and can set the criteria for determining who will be “allowed to die.” He can also by Executive Fiat just decree that so-and-so must be “allowed to die.” This will appeal to the green base of the Democrat Party–less people alive equals less resources used and more of the ecosystem left over for the mice and fish and twisted butterflies. This will appeal to the mainstream Democrats because they long to have a Dictator determining who lives and dies. And this will appeal to the far left because all conservatives will all be “allowed to die.”
P.S. the only down-side of this proposal is that most conservatives are armed and dangerous. Before this proposal is put into effect this author believes that gun control should be enacted and put into effect. Accordingly, it is suggested that the President’s Plan A be put into effect before this Plan B be put into effect.
Sincerely, Rahm “The Enforcer” Emanuel