Daily Archives: July 28, 2009

House of Representatives passes new resolution: President Obama is not really a Chicago Thug who hates Amerika!

I thug, therefore I am.

I thug, therefore I am.

Special Breaking CBS News: In an unpreci-dented move to shore up President Obama’s failing poll numbers, Democrats in the U.S. House of Represent- atives introduced a bill which declares officially that President Obama is not a thug from Chicago who secretly loathes America and who wants to socialize our economy in order to fuck it up and allow all his ‘homies’ to become official Czars with unprecedented control over great portions of America. Continue reading

Put down your beer

IOWAHAWK’s latest article will make you snort it out your nose if you don’t:

“Guest Opinion
by Professor John Evans Evans-John
Harvard School of Harvard Faculty Asshole Studies
Harvard University

“When I first learned of the arrest of my colleague Professor Henry Louis “Skip” Gates after he stood up to the fascist jackboots of a declasse, ill-educated Cambridge police officer, I was of course angered — but scarcely shocked. L’Affaire Gates simply aired, in public, the dirty 100-thread-count table linen of an American culture where Harvard faculty assholes still face a daily struggle against profiling, abuse, and insolence….”

Is Doug Mataconis a REAL lawyer? Seriously. Or, “FUCK ALL Y’ALL WHO CALL US ‘BIRTHERS’ CRAZY.”

[UPDATE July 29, 2009: What the American Mainstream Press refused to publicize about one of the early male influences in Barack Obama’s life. He had a communist pedophile as a mentor, aka “Uncle Frank.” ]

First, anybody else notice? Dumbass Dougie posted like 22 freakin posts today? What lawyer has that amount of time to blog?

But more seriously, the dude doesn’t seem to have a clue about logic or facts. He thinks a) because he is satisfied that Obama was really born in Hawaii that somehow anybody else who is skeptical is therefore nuts; and b) because [fill in the blank, Bill O’Reilly, The National Review, Congress, some dumbass in bumfuckistan, whomever] agrees with him, therefore  he must be correct.

Please, permit me to show you how a REAL lawyer examines the issue of whether or not Obama was born in Hawaii.  Let’s pretend I’m some schmuck’s lawyer who is suing some private citizen (say, Barack H. Obama, Esquire, Chicago Illinois) and as part of his claim Mr. Schmuck has to prove that Mr. Obama was not born in Hawaii (can’t imagine how that would ever come up but bear with me).  Continue reading

Breaking: Text of recent “talks” between Taliban and envoys from USA, Great Britain!

A.P. News, July 28, 2009: somewhere near the Afghanistan, Pakistan border.  “A transcript of the first ever talks between envoys from the USA and Great Britain and high ranking officials within the Taliban have been obtained by a reporter for the Associated Press International.  Below is a portion of those historic talks, instituted at the behest of the Obama Administration:

Taliban representative: “ALLAH ACHBAR! DEATH TO AMELICA!!”

American envoy: “Please do not chop my head off!!! I’ll say and do anything to arrrggghh. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Gurgle gurgle…”  [sound of head plopping onto the ground.]

Taliban representative: “ALLAH ACHBAR! DEATH TO AMELICA LAP DOG!”

Great Britain envoy: “PLEASE DON’T KILL ME! I’LL SAY AND DO…AHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOO!!! [slice, dice, sound of head plopping onto cave somewhere in Bumfuckistan, Afghanistan.]

Taliban representative:  [As he wipes the blood from his scimtar, with a devilish grin on his face] “ALLAH ACHBAR! DEATH TO AMELICA AND AMELICA’S LAP DOG!!” 

Contrast the above with America’s response to the Taliban during George W. Bush’s Administration…

Taliban representative during Bush Administration: “Allah Achbar! Velly nice wedding.  Very clear day.  Velly nice.  Perhaps we should be back home in our cave…”

[KA-BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOFUCKINGBOOOOM! Or whatever it is the sound that a Predator Drone missile makes as it sends Taliban members to their everlasting hell!]   

Yeah, I think I prefer George’s method of “talks” with the Taliban.