Doug Mataconis: SMASH MOUTHS’ “Real Man of Genius”

Don't try this green plaid polyester suit look at home, kids!

Don't try this green plaid polyester suit look at home, kids!

Today we salute you, Mr. Green-Plaid polyester suit man!  You can’t get a real job practicing law, so what do you do, Mr. Low-Life barrister? You become a collection attorney, sucking blood out of those too poor to pay their bills. (Choir: Mr. Green-Plaid Polyester Suit Man!)

Here’s to you, Mr. Too Dumb to be a Real Reporter: You, Real Man of Genius that you are, start a pathetic little blog, that nobody reads unless Smash Mouth Politics lifts up the rug and people naturally become curious to see all the little cockroaches under it. (Choir: Mr. Too Dumb to be a Real RepoOOOorter!)

Taking time off from sucking blood out of turnips and squeezing the social security checks out of little old ladies, you snap off all these mindless blog posts! (Choir: Mindless blog posts!) 

Sure, occasionally one of those defendants whom you are leaching off of might have the wherewithal to hire a lawyer to actually defend themselves! But don’t worry, then you can actually hand those cases off to a real lawyer to handle for you!  (Choir: A REEEEEEAL lawyer!)

So crack open a nice Bud Light, Mr. Real Man of Genius, cause we all know that when the going gets tough, the Dumbass Pretend Shyster  runs away! (Choir: Mr. Dumbass Pretend ShyyyYYYyyster!)

p.s.  He he. Falwell v. Hustler-type parody. I KNOW Little Dumbass won’t know what that means, but hopefully the rest of you will…

One response to “Doug Mataconis: SMASH MOUTHS’ “Real Man of Genius”

  1. Pingback: Another of our patented DUMBASS DOUGIE MATACONIS posts | Smash Mouth Politics

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