Daily Archives: July 15, 2009

Teddy Kennedy’s “True Compass” Limited Edition on sale now at Smash Mouth!

Be the first liberal on the block to appear to have forked over $1,000.00 for this sure to be a best-seller from the ‘Lion of the Senate!’  Get yours here for only $919.96!  For a limited time only! Submit your credit card name, type and number and $100.00 S & H charges and wait only six to eight weeks. I’ll get back to you!

Below are some highlights of the book! (Allegedly, it is mostly pictures because liberals are pretty shallow!  Heck, even Teddy drowned Mary Jo in just a shallow tidal pool!)

CHAPTER ONE: HOW I GOT MINE!  I got mine when Daddy was a bootlegger! The first thing he taught me, was put your money in a trust and live off the tax-free interest. Then, when you raise other peoples’ taxes, it won’t affect you!   

Neat knickers, huh? I haven't put in an honest day's work from the day this photo was taken until today!

Neat knickers, huh? I haven't put in an honest day's work from the day this photo was taken until today!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER TWO: MY BIG BROTHER JACK WOULDN’T LET ME JOIN IN HIS SANDWICHES, SO I MADE MY OWN WITH SEN. DODD! 

Photos too graphic to show on this R rated blog!

Photos too graphic to show on this R rated blog!

…..

Doug Mataconis: SMASH MOUTHS’ “Real Man of Genius”

Don't try this green plaid polyester suit look at home, kids!

Don't try this green plaid polyester suit look at home, kids!

Today we salute you, Mr. Green-Plaid polyester suit man!  You can’t get a real job practicing law, so what do you do, Mr. Low-Life barrister? You become a collection attorney, sucking blood out of those too poor to pay their bills. (Choir: Mr. Green-Plaid Polyester Suit Man!)

Here’s to you, Mr. Too Dumb to be a Real Reporter: You, Real Man of Genius that you are, start a pathetic little blog, that nobody reads unless Smash Mouth Politics lifts up the rug and people naturally become curious to see all the little cockroaches under it. (Choir: Mr. Too Dumb to be a Real RepoOOOorter!) Continue reading

Senator: “How can I tell when Sonya Sotomayor is lying?”

Aide (who can see what every other honest American can): “When her lips are moving.”

From Byron York:  

“On the issue of Sotomayor’s infamous 2001 “wise Latina” speech, Republicans are more skeptical now than before Sotomayor began her attempts to explain the remarks. In response to questions from Sen. Jeff Sessions, the ranking Republican on the committee, Sotomayor said that the “wise Latina” remark was “a rhetorical flourish that fell flat…It was bad, because it left the impression that I believed that life experiences commanded a result in a case, but that’s clearly not what I do as a judge.”

“Republicans pointed out that Sotomayor gave versions of the “wise Latina” speech at least six times over the years.  “Fell flat?” asked one senior GOP aide.  “Well, it fell flat six times.  If you said this one time, and it fell flat and you stopped using it, that would be one thing, but when you’ve said it repeatedly over a ten-year stretch, it’s very hard to believe that it is anything other than what it appears to be.  It’s only fallen flat now that she’s been called on it.”

Doug Maticonis: Dumbass of the year?

Only selective inbreeding produces deep thinkiners like "Little Dougie Dumbass"! (Registered Trademark, all rights reserved)

Only selective inbreeding produces deep thinkers like "Little Dougie Dumbass"! (Registered Trademark, all rights reserved)

This mealy-mouthed little punk claims he is an attorney. I sure as hell wouldn’t hire him to do my legal thinking for me. What. An. Imbecile.  Major refuses to go to Afghanistan unless Obamster produces his long-form birth certificate (which he has never produced).  Army caves and changes his orders, runs away from a fight like a dog with its tail between his legs. Does this running from a fight make Little Dougie Dumbass suspicious of why the world’s greatest fighting force ran from this fight? Nope. At least curious? Uh uh. Instead The world’s dumbest lawyer attacks the character of the Major for being a “freeper.”  Continue reading

I’ve almost been converted to a “Birther”

I hereby authorize the release of my long-form birth certificate. See, doncha all feel dumb now?

I hereby authorize the release of my long-form birth certificate. See, doncha all feel dumb now?

Until somebody shows me the “long-form” birth certificate, I’m officially skeptical, and my B.S. Detector is beeping incessantly.  Tools (any liberal) and dupes (e.g., Little Dougie Mataconis) are satisfied with the short form.  But try taking the short form (which is ALL that he released so far)  to get a passport, or for a military clearance, or even to DMV and see what you will get.  Here’s a tip: that and $2.00 will get you a double shot of expresso at Starbucks. Continue reading

Richmond store owner saved during robbery by armed patron

From Richmond Times-Dispatch: Scum of the earth enters store, shoots owner twice, and before he can finish him off, armed patron pulls out his trusty .45 and orders him to throw down his weapon. Scum of the earth refuses, and gets a slug in his torso.  Other patrons suggest that hero finish scum of the earth off, but he refuses.  Predictably, he was at first excoriated by gun control advocates, although apparently they have scurried back under rocks since all the evidence is that this guy is a true hero. Not to mention an Exhibit A of how armed citizenry can save lives.