A.P. July 10, 2009: The “agreement in principle” will help prevent the earth from warming more than 2C (3.6F) . All but the dumbest scientists agree that moonbeams are a major source of global warming, especially at night during a full moon. Coupled with cow farts and CO2 emissions from evil civilization, moonbeams are “the straw that broke the camel’s back” exclaimed Nobel Peace Prize winner Al Gore, from 46,000 feet above the planet in his personal Boeing 747. “It’s just more than Mother Earth can handle right now.”
Though the vast majority of scientists agree that the amount of light reflected by the moon must be reduced, they disagree as to the best method. Some believe that we should send several manned flights to the moon and cover the “light side” of the moon with coal dust to lesson the amount of sunlight that reflects off the moon. Others believe that the best way would be to spread aluminum foil over as much of the earth as possible, in order to re-relect moonbeams back into outer-space.
As usual, Republican legislators expressed some hesitation at the plan, wondering whether the trillions that will have to be spent to cut moonbeam emissions will be cost-effective. Said one Republican Senator, who asked to remain anonymous, “We know that moonbeams are hurting the planet. We just do not agree that this is the best plan to reduce them.”