If you could do it over again, what would you do?

First, I wouldn’t change a thing if it meant marrying a different woman, or not having my two children or my “adopted daughter.”  But other than that, what would I do over?

1. I would never move away from “home.” I had a gazillion relatives. Cousins, Aunts,  Uncles, in-laws. All whom I loved and whom I miss. Kids, don’t move away from home. My kids were raised in a home where their nearest relative lived 12 hours away. IF  I had a “do-over” I would live near home.

2.  I’d find some line of work that I LOVE to do, instead of settling for something that pays the bills. I always say that there lawyering beats working for a living. But I really hate it.  If I had it all to do over again, I’d find something that I really enjoyed doing, no matter what the salary. The man who does what he loves for a living never has to work a day in his life.

3.  I’d spend less time at the office and more time with my children and wife. When my kids were young, I spent what I thought was an enormous time with them. Then they got older, and had different interests, and I spent more time at work. Come to find out, they don’t remember much of the times that I spent with them, and they distinctly remember the times that I was absent from the family while at work.

4. I would be more kind, to friends, family, acquaintances, and people that I came in contact with. When I’m having problems sleeping, and while I’m thinking about my life, I don’t regret the times that I was nice to people. I regret the times when I was rude.

5.  I would express myself to those I love. I’d tell my wife and children, and my extended family, how much I love them. I’d tell them how proud I am of them.

6. I’d keep my friends from high school. I left home when I was 18 and never looked back. Almost all of the best friends that I made were made in high school. I let them all slip away. Keep the old friends. Maybe, maybe, you will make new friends.

7. I’d keep being a Detroit Lions fan and I’d keep being a Detroit Tigers fan. I gave up being a Tigers fan when the players struck in 1990 whenever. I lost interest in the Lions after living away from home for so many years. Nothing gets one’s blood pumping as being a sports fan. Moving around the country, developing wimpy passion for the nearest sports team (for now) is not the same. When I was a kid, I’d spend my time with my ear up to the transistor radio listening to the Lions play-by-play. I’d never even think of not having the Tigers on the radio.  Life has more pizzaz when you are the fan of a sports team.

you guyz care to share YOUR ideas?

2 responses to “If you could do it over again, what would you do?

  1. Darrell -- Chesapeake

    I suppose everyone goes through a period where they reflect on their life and wonders the same thing you are. But think about this. If everyone just stayed home, there would be no United States, no Detroit, and no Tigers.

    One of my ancestors arrived at Jamestown in 1610. Don’t you think he had second thoughts about leaving the relative comfort of England when he found that most of Jamestown had been wiped out over the previous winter? Another found himself on the first expedition down the Ohio to what would become Cincinnati. He had no skills other than being a womanizer, and by some accounts one hell of an Indian fighter. His descendants moved farther down river with each generation.

    I don’t know, maybe rambling is in my blood. I developed a passion for electronics when I was 13. Learned it from a WW2 vintage book. Like many kids today I hated school. I couldn’t wait to turn on my shortwave, imagining what it was like on those far away shores. Without any real plan, I parlayed that childhood curiosity into a career allowing me to visit many of those countries.

    As you might imagine, I’m not a pushy parent. Right or wrong I impart values of an independent mind and spirit, free of structured paths to success. My kids realize that friendships are not static events but evolve throughout life, each providing a memory of That Time When…

    If I’d just stayed home I would have never flown an airplane, taken a tiny sailboat through a North Pacific storm, rode a train to Nairobi, or any of the other adventures I’ve had the opportunity to experience. Most importantly I would have never gained the cultural sensitivities needed to marry my foreign born wife.

    No, I don’t think I would change a damn thing. Didn’t get rich, not a Master of the Universe but that’s fine. The nice thing about not having a plan is it’s easy to move on to happier digs.

    Take the plunge. Find a blue collar bar with a dart board and beer. It will be ok to root for the Tigers or Lions as long as you buy a round. Just don’t tell them you are a lawyer or you will be spend all your time filling out divorce papers for free drinks.

  2. Very nice comment. I still think that there are many, MANY things that I would do differently. I haven’t gotten around as much as you have, so maybe that is part of the problem.

    I Took the route of profession, student loans and big mortgage. The legal profession is a jealous mistress, often demanding long hours and weekends away from family and friends. I finally got off that merry go round a couple of years ago–I now work for myself instead of a law firm. But I still have the fat mortgage and my kids are all grown up. Cats in the cradle sort of nostalgia goin on here… Now I’m over fifty and traveling the world does not sound nearly as exciting as it did when I was 20.

    I don’t do bars but our many poker nights with cigars, beers and laughs is my equivalent. And it pays better. Thanks for stopping by, and do come back!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s