Daily Archives: June 8, 2009

FINALLY, the GOP forms a group to oppose ACORN

The Republicans have formed a group of people who will seek out Republicans where they live, work and play in order to get out the vote. Of course, rather than scour the slums with cigarettes, the Republican job is a bit more difficult. Instead of paying minimum wages to felons to sign up voters dozens of times, the price gets steeper to seek out Republican voters. The GOP will seek to be more nuanced, more diverse. Here is a list of their strategy, of people that they are seeking to reach out to the GOP base, straight from the National GOP computer which was hacked.

“Sauna Lurkers:” These individuals will lurk in the saunas and hot tubs of the Country Club or the Health Spa to which all good rich old fart Republicans belong. He or she must spend hours in the sauna each day, trying to persuade the movers and shakers of the community to vote Republican. Let’s face it, the rich are a natural constituent of the Republican party–so long as they did not inherit it as the Kennedys did.  The “Sauna Lurkers” job will be to convince the rich and famous that that the social con wing of the Republican party will be kept on a tether and only let inside for special occasions, such as each election, and then promptly forced outside again upon the completion thereof.  And the “Lurkers” must put up with the inevitable gropes and obscene proposals from the Republican base while in the saunas.

” The libertarian cat herders:”  These people must be hip, well edumacated, and patient. And they must smoke dope. Their job is to herd the thousands of strains of libertarian into one group and to get them to all agree to the same thing. A nearly impossible task, except that they only have to agree to the same thing for one day each year, Election Day.

“The moderate and RINO butt sniffers:”  Let’s face it, we all know moderates and RINOs don’t really care about politics. They care about popularity. About getting along. About not making enemies (except of social cons, they hate social cons).  So this class of Republican vote getters will go through out the community and stroke the egos of moderates and RINOs. “Yes, sorta free enterprise is wonderful. Yes, the pro-choicers and the pro-lifers are both wrong! Yes, YES, YESSSS! It’s cool when a Republican Senator suddenly switches parties after years of claiming to be a Republican!” These butt sniffers will  have to swallow their opinions, cut their I.Q. in half, and really make an attempt to kiss the asses of moderates and RINOs. But this will work, as moderates and RINOs know that they are dumb as dirt, and thus whenever anyone blows smoke up their ass and makes them think otherwise they immediately relate.

“Blue Collar Workers and Entrepreneurs and Military:” These people must go out and run America, and keep America running, and make the actual goods and services that make America great. And make the jobs that employ Americans. And pay the taxes that make America great. And keep America great. And feed America. And protect America. Oh, wait, never mind. These people already vote overwhelmingly Republican. They don’t need no fucking ACORN workers to go out and recruit them to vote Republican. And the fuckers in the previously mentioned groups won’t vote Republican unless some immoral moderate or RINO is the candidate. So never mind. The Republicans don’t need no fucking ACORN-type groups…

But I still love this article by Andrew Breitbart…

A wise Latina woman broke her freakin ankle in an airport!

A white man-even a stupid one-would have avoided the problem.  When she got to the hospital, she demanded that a Latina or Latino physician examine her.  And course, she insisted on a Latin x-ray technician.  No, wait, I made up the last two sentences.

Va Democrat Goober-natorial primary a replay of GOP USA Presidential primary

I have not seen this noted elsewhere, but I assume it has been: The Va Dem Gov primary reminds me of the GOP USA Presidential primary, in reverse.  In the Dem primary the liberal vote is being split, and in the GOP the conservative vote is split. I confess, I don’t follow Dem politics, but I assume Deeds is the more conservative, and those other two morons are the more liberal, of the three candidates. The liberals and some of the moderates will split their votes amongst the two morons, and Deeds will win. 

In the GOP, the evil creep formerly known as Gov. Huckabee, along with Fred Thompson and others early on, split the conservative vote with Romney, while Guiliani dropped out early and threw his support behind the Fat Cow’s father (er, McCain what’s his name).  Continue reading

TWA Flight 800–Not all conspiracies are for kooks

twaI’ll try to summarize why this is one government cover-up that you should believe in so that you will go look at the sites. TWA Flight 800 exploded and crashed over the ocean just off Long Island New York July 17, 1996.  The official government theory was that jet fuel in a tank ignited and caused an explosion which blew the nose of the jet off.

Unfortunately for the theory, 96 eyewitnesses saw a rocket shoot skyward towards the jet seconds before it blew up. One, a retired military pilot said  he saw 2-3 explosions before he saw a ball of fire which was caused by the fuel tank exploding. He says that he is familiar with what caused the explosion and he is convinced that it was military ordinance that caused the jet to explode.  Another eyewitness who saw virtually the same thing is a high school principal.  Another was a helicopter pilot, and another was a pilot of another jet that was flying near Flight 800.  Not only the eyewitnesses, but the FAA ground controllers imediately noted a fast moving object flying towards the doomed jet before it exploded, and they duly reported what they saw. Continue reading