“Empathetic” umpires

Ump: “Play ball! Hey, pitcher, I’ve always been a fan of yours.”

Pitcher: “Thanks, man. I’ll give you an autograph after the game.”

Batter: “Gulp.”

Ump: “STEEEERIKE ONE!”

Batter: “But he hasn’t even thrown the first pitch yet!”

Ump: “You are OUTTA HERE!”

Umpire caught "empathizing" with the opposing team

Umpire caught "empathizing" with the opposing team

Batter: “What for? I didn’t do anything.”

Batter’s coach arrives from dug out: “Yeah, what for. He didn’t do anything!”

Ump: “For arguing balls and strikes. You know he isn’t allowed to dispute my judgment calls.”

Batter’s coach: “But that wasn’t a ‘judgment call,’  the pitcher had not even thrown the first pitch!”

Ump: “Yeah, but I’m so empathetic to him and his team that I just knew the first pitch would be a strike. Besides, if it was even close, I was going to call it a strike. Heck, even if it wasn’t close, I was going to call it a strike. I make the rules here. A strike is what we umpires call it.  Umm. Maybe I shouldn’t be saying this.  This is on T.V.”

Batter’s coach, while trotting back to the dugout: “It’s gonna be a long game. Who the hell ever made Sotomayor an umpire, anyway?”

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