Obama to skip National Day of Prayer. Here are his reasons:
1. Prayer? What is prayer?
2. He went to church to solely to use as a prop to help himself get elected. He won. He is no longer running for office. Do I have to draw you a picture?
3. George Soros forbid him.
4. He doesn’t want to piss off his rabid liberal athiest base.
5. He didn’t want to be a bad influence on his children and the children of America. In his opinion, only right-wing whackos actually pray.
6. Prayer? He don’t need no stinkin prayer!
7. He didn’t want to be heard praying the way Rev. Wright taught him to pray: “God bless America? NO NO NOOOOO! GOD DAMN AMERICA!”
8. The way he normally prays in private would look so awkward in public, getting out his prayer rug, bowing towards Mecca and uttering “Allah Achbar” etc.
9. He’s too busy saving the world. Besides, how is he going to read the teleprompter with his eyes closed and his head bowed?
10. If the nation isn’t praying to Obama, then Obama isn’t praying for the nation.