Maine passes same-family marriage law

BOSTON (Reuters) – Maine’s Senate passed a bill on last Thursday and the lower chamber approved it today, making Maine the first state in the country to allow same-family marriage.

Maine Governor John Baldacci once opposed same-family marriage, but said earlier in April he was keeping an open mind on the issue.  He said that he just could not see treating children/parent marriages or sibling marriages any differently than same-sex marriages. “If you are a pervert, you are a pervert, and we can’t very well play favorites, giving some perverts more rights than others, can we? This law allows any number of men to marry any number of women. It could not be any less safe to allow inbreeding than to allow two AIDS-ridden faggots to marry.” 

The legislation redefines marriage as the legal union of two people rather than between any men and any women. And it specifically allows for adult children to marry their parent–either one or both. It passed the Senate by a 20-15 margin. 

Governor Baldacci went on to say: “Our Legislature, in their infinite wisdom, just could not bring themselves to actually pass laws based upon morality.  What little morality we New Englanders have is no longer based upon any rational belief system. Basically, it is anything goes, if it feels good, do it, rock and roll hippie shit.  It’s all good…” [Then he apparently nodded off, the drugs having taken effect.]

Approval in the Democratic-controlled legislature of the rural state of 1.3 million people underlines a concerted push for same-family marriage recognition in New England’s six states by gay and lesbian advocates.  Spokespersons for NAMBLA could not be reached for comment, but their web site has a banner headline stating that they are pissed off that Maine approved anybody could get married, but that the law limited it to adults.  Apparently, NAMBLA feels their rights are being violated now. Stay tuned for Man Boy marriages soon. It’s the cutting edge of perversion these days…

A blogger down in a bunker somewhere in central Virginia was one of the only persons to object. “Godless heathen make me puke,” John Doe said, “No, I don’t want to shake the hand of somebody who has been picking their bare ass, and I certainly don’t want to have anything to do with people who have zero morals and revel in the fact that they are so ignorant.”