Me not calling liberals ignorant commie bastards is like, not realistic at all

Me refraining from bitchslappin faggots is totally not realistic.  Not gonna happen. And, like, uh, like, me refraining from cheating on my income taxes, no way! Dude, get real.  And, like, telling kids not to shop-lift? That is so yesterday.  Give them protection instead! One free “get out of jail” card or like something useful, dude.