SMASH MOUTH POLITICS is 3 months old

7,777 views to date as of this moment. 423 posts. And I still haven’t been sued for slander or shut down yet!

Update: As of 3/31/09 [5 months] we are up to 21,068 views and growing strong. At this rate by the year 2079 I’ll still have been dead a long, long time.

 

But I’m workin on that as we speak!

Why I am going to cheat on my income taxes

Because Timothy Geithner did. And Obama nominated him to head the Treasury. And the Senate confirmed him. He’s the smartest man in the USA, the only one capable of understanding the current financial crisis. If cheating on taxes is good enough for him, who am I to say otherwise.  If caught, I’m using the “Geithner Defense:”  Turbo Tax made me do it.

My family believes that either somebody keeps breaking into our house or it is haunted

Scene one: A few months ago, my wife and neice came home at night to an empty house (I was playing poker–hey, it was Saturday night). Once inside, with the dogs and cat downstairs with them, they heard footsteps and a door close upstairs. They rushed outside, and sat in the car. Their futile attempts to pry me away from the card game convinced them to call my friend who came over with his handy .357 to sweep the house. Even he thought he heard something when he got there. My wife swears that she saw a black light flash in our bedroom window (our wireless internet connection could account for that). Spooked friend sweeps house, finds no evidence of intruder or of a way to enter house. I laughed at them and said they are all weenies.