I wanna be a hero

Probably just voicing that thought condemns me to being a coward.  But I’ve never been in a life or death situation.  Listening to all the news about the jet that went down makes me wonder what I would do in an emergency.  I venture to guess that most of us like to think that we would perform admirably in the heat of battle or in a life or death situation.  I know there are some who have already made up their minds to save themselves and to hell with the rest.  I don’t condemn that thinking. If you don’t look out for yourself, who will.  But I’m sort of the opposite of that: I have made up my mind to save others at the expense of myself.  Only because I’m old enough and have lived enought that I’m ready to go. My only question is whether I would have the intestinal fortitude to follow through if given the opportunity. I am squeamish around human’s who are bleeding profusely. My knees shake when I get a good dose of adreniline.  I am deathly afraid of heights. So I know that I am not “fearless.” My only hope is the thought that I’ve heard expressed elsewhere that bravery is not fearlessness in the face of danger, but rather the ability to overcome your fears and force yourself to do what you believe is the right thing in the face of your fear.  Kudos to the crew of the jet, and to the passengers who helped others off before themselves.

8 responses to “I wanna be a hero

  1. I sat down and watched all the coverage last night. Incredible. I have never liked flying…never. I’ll do it because I have to, but I like my feet on solid ground and I also am REAL freaky about heights. Makes me sick to my stomach. I admire all those people who kept their composure during the rescue and am not real sure how I would have reacted. If I would have had my grandson with me…I would have freaked, no doubt, but think I could have kept my head in order to make him safe. I was on a rescue squad in the area for a few years and actually had a calming effect on the people that I was helping. I’m great during a crisis, but fall apart afterwards….it’s why I finally had to give it up. I experienced a horendous accident involving kids that I knew. It was horrible. I never went back.
    This pilot should receive a metal.

  2. I’ve often thought about being on a rescue squad, and being a cop, but…

    I’m thinking that some of my squeamishness is because when I was four and 1/2 my mother ran a stop sign and was hit on her side. I rode next to her in the ambulance–she was moaning and otherwise out of it. She died at the ER. I don’t know, it is hard to say how it has effected me. I do know that the last time I was at her gravesite (I’m not a big gravesite visitor) after 10-15 years I broke down and cried. This was maybe 5 years ago. My wife hypothesizes that I am a heartless bastard because I didn’t have my mother’s influence on me growing up…Prolly TMI, I know.

  3. when I was 15 I was sent thru the windshield of my 3rd fathers old Ford pickup when he tried to miss a small dog. I have also been in a car that went thru guardrails and flew to the bottom of a 250 foot embankment. I have spent countless nights in the hospital when I was “brave” enough to stick my arm in a ringer washer…yeah, I was kinda stooopit back in the day. Many teeth have been sacrificed for crazy bicycle stunts and my head likes hitting stuff for no apparent reason.

    Then when I thought all that crazy stuff was behind me, I volunteered to be a At-Sea Firefighter on the USS Savannah. While undergoing training, the nozzle man’s timer went off, so he dropped out and ran up the stairs to get out of the ship. Well, guess who was next…I grabbed the nozzle, pulled off a goose neck maneuver, and went about fighting the fire. When the instructor didn’t think I was close enough to the rail, he grabbed the D-ring on the back of my OBA (oxygen breathing apparatus) he shoved me right up to the rail. Just then, the fire boss lit a fire right under the catwalk I was on. The fire came up around my body and burned the hair right off my head, along with anything that wasn’t covered (very little).

    Since then I cannot be held down, nor boxed in and crowds freak me out because I can’t control what goes on. I am more likely to punch someone in the head than I am to ask to be excused. You should see me in WalMart on a Saturday afternoon, LOTS of people get shoved out of my way.

    Anyway, I always think I can stop bullets and I won’t know for sure until it happens but I think I am ready for an emergency…I hope

  4. Oh John, I am so sorry. That must have been devastating to a 4 year old. I cannot even fathom what you went through. My brother was killed on prom night..he was 16.. and my mom and dad lost it. Mom was in a place in DC for almost a year trying to deal with it and my dad was non existent in my life after that for a while. I was 4. They left me with my uncle on a dairy farm for a year. I loved them dearly, but it affected me deeply. That was hard on me, but I cannot imagine what you went through.
    Although your wife knows you better than anyone does(I presume), my immediate impression of you when I first started blogging a couple of years ago, was that you were an angry man and I didn’t like you at all. Over a few months I have changed that opinion somewhat. I think I now understand it. And certainly understand why you stay anonymous. 😉 You’re not so bad.

  5. Frankie, I knew there was something that I admired about you! But my question is, were you afraid and you fought through your fears, or were you just crazy fearless?

    Christa, all I can say is that I had great support from my maternal grand parents. Just like it sounds you did with your uncle. My father started drinking heavily thereafter and didn’t get off the wagon until I was about 20 years old. We are all a product of our “up bringin.”

  6. ” We are all a product of our “up bringin.”
    Very very true, but we also have the power to change what has shaped us. I know I did. I had to….

  7. I changed a lot too, when I was 20. But 30 years of cynicism and liberal craziness since then have worn me down and made me a lot more crotchety. There came a point back in maybe 2000 that I decided to not just sit back while they destroyed the country, but to stand up and voice my opinion as loudly as possible. Turn the other cheek, my foot. Dish it out as loudly and as meanly as they do, only with more intelligence and with truth and justice and history on my side. THAT’S the angry person that you have noticed. I tend to be as angry or not as the nearest liberal commenter. If they are nice, I’m polite. If not, watch the fireworks…

  8. In bad situations like bar fights, I used to love bouncing, the adrenaline usually takes over. I honestly think it is fight or flight that drives me. I have this slow motion thing that slows life down and I get a chance to look at the situation and then react within reason. No one should jump off a bridge to save a fish…if you get what I mean…

    No matter what the emergency, I always want to be there to help. I’ve witnessed horrible accidents and always stop to see if I can help.

    As for both of your pasts, I am thankful nothing has happened to alter my life. I can only imagine what drives people to continue.

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