Daily Archives: November 1, 2008

I’m a black person trapped in a white person’s body!

Since an early age, I realized that I was faster than my whitey friends. And I was built, not just “if you know what I mean,” but chiseled legs, muscular arms, broad shoulders, etc. [OK, at middle age, most of those effects are barely discernable now].  And white women never really did it for me. I’ve always been attracted to black women. Big booties (like mine), hot, sassy, athletic, dark lucious skin (unlike mine). Who the heck wants to see blue viens in a woman’s arms and legs? Even a dark tan on a whitey leaves places where I can see viens. Turn off! I am so pale, I could pass for Casper the Ghost in mid-winter. I don’t tan, but burn in 5 minutes. There is no way I can claim minority status based on my skin. BUT I AM A BLACK MAN TRAPPED IN A WHITE MAN’S BODY!

And I feel discriminated against. If black men are given “minority status” then I want that status too. I want Federally guaranteed loans to minorities. I want special rights. I want them to change the very definition of “black” and “white.”  From now on, [since it’s NOT FAIR] that only blacks are allowed to be blacks, I want whites to be allowed to be called blacks! Not because of any skin color, but based on how I’ve felt all my life. I want tolerance from you white whiteys and from you black blacks. Don’t condemn me as a freak, accept me as I am. And change the very definition of black to white, and white to black. Just for me. Otherwise you are a bigoted honkeyphobe! After all, if we can change the very definition of marriage to include queers marrying queers, why can’t we change the definition of white to mean black???   Continue reading