Smash Mouth Politics

Why Gingrich REALLY lost Florida

John Doe — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 13:30:39 +0000

Fiiinally it has become apparent why John Doe went through the trials and tribulations of his last few months: so he could bring insider information to the masses about the Florida GOP primary. Some writers do not have a clue. Others have extreme insight into the battle that is raging. I’ll not bore you with long analysis or anal cysts. Here is the bottom line–Romney won because Florida is infested with liberal northeasterners, midwesterners, and Canucks (no offense to St. Tricia). Everybody knows that Florida is crawling with “snowbirds” but they forget where the blight on Florida known as snowbirds come from. I haven’t. I see them every day. I see their out of state license plates almost hit me as they swerve into my lane. I hear their Brooklyn or Bohhston or French Canadian accents as they talk obnoxiously loud in the public square. And I see their obnoxiously liberal opinions when I read the “letters to the editor.”

Florida is a southern state, but it is infested with liberal northerners. Some neighborhoods lose seventy percent of their population in the summer as the snowbirds fly north to do whatever snowbirds do in the summer. Florida is not a true southern state any more, it has been over-run by Michiganders, Wisconsonites, New Yorkers, Massachunonutters, and Vermontiqueers. Those who know me might find it ironic that I am dissing snowbirds when I originally hail from Michigan. Hey, there are a few true conservatives from Michigan. Will the last one turn out the lights when he leaves?

Take heart conservatives. Florida results do not mean that Newt is inelectable. They only mean that Florida has become the land of misfit liberals. Mittens has already proven that he can win where men are not really men any more (New Hampshire and Massachusetts). The Florida results are just further proof of that. Let’s see what happens when the primaries take place in the true south, and in fly-over country. Take heart Newt. Keep up the good fight. It ain’t over until the Gipper says it is over.

Because I can

John Doe — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 00:46:23 +0000

: One MORE for the road…

The PUK Awards are out

John Doe — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 17:20:26 +0000

See them all here …

Froma Harrop, liberal trollop

John Doe — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 01:09:27 +0000

For the one or two people in America who still don’t read “Hot Air”, here is yet another reason why you should [although it HAS gone to shit since Michelle sold it]. I laughed my fucking ass off. And the funny thing is, this bitch is sooooooooo fucking stupid that she does not see the ~~irony~~ hypocrisy in what she says.

http://hotair.com/archives/2012/01/13/must-watch-daily-show-destroys-liberal-columnist-over-civility-hypocrisy/

!I support Newt’s attacks on Romney

John Doe — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 16:49:13 +0000

I am un-decided which candidate I favor in the primary, but I’m firmly in the “anybody but Romney” camp. Funny, last election I favored Romney over McCain and that idiot Huckleberry what’s his name. But now that more conservative politicians are running, I favor any of them (except that moon-bat Ron Paul). And I think that Newt should continue being a man and attack Romney for his work at Bain.

It is not often that I disagree with Rush, but I do not see Newt’s attack on Romney as anti-capitalist, or befitting a leftist, or pandering to the 99%ers against the 1%ers. It is a valid criticism that should be brought up in the primaries. If it makes Romney un-electable, let’s find out now. Obama is going to throw it in his face and Romney needs to learn to handle it. Primaries are for vetting candidates. Al Gore first brought up the “Willie Horton” charges against Dukakkis.

What a man does for a career says much about who he is. If Romney made millions selling porn magazines or boot-legging whiskey, attacks on his career would not be considered anti-capitalism (well, if his name was Kennedy and he lived in Massachusetts the latter would be off-limits as a line of attack). It sounds to me like Romney was the epitome of “Edward” in “Pretty Woman,” continually buying businesses and then gutting them and selling their parts and killing off jobs.

Republicans are being stupid again. We are allowing the lamestream media to pick our candidate for us again. Remember how the press adored McCain in the primaries? Then they vicously turned on him once he became our candidate? They are doing the same to Romney. Never vetting him, not saying anything negative about him, lulling us into nominating him.

Also, conservatives split their votes last time, many stupid asses going for Huckleface and others for Romney, giving the nomination to McCain on a silver platter. And the Republicans are doing the same old bull shit about nominating the next in line, ala Bob Dole, Gerald Ford and McCain. STOP! Romney only won ONE election in his life, as a liberal in Taxachusetts. He refused to run for a second term because he was so unpopular.

I say get all the conservative candidates together (except Paul–ban him from the party) NOW and get them to band behind a single candidate and all others drop out. Let’s coalesce around a more conservative candidate and defeat the more liberal candidate. And yes, I am taking for granted that Romney is a liberal. Who the fuck does not believe that? He’s from Massachusetts, for Gawd’s sake. Stop this Obama-lite dude in his cardigan tracks now before it is too late.

Don’t make me stay home come election day. I ain’t holding my breath and voting for the lesser of two evils–as I did in the last presidential election–EVER AGAIN.

p.s. WTF? pandering to the blacks much? http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2012/01/romney-gives-unemployed-woman-cash-on-ropeline/

Fucking Moron of the Month

John Doe — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 16:00:34 +0000

This dirty stinking bastard calls himself a Rabbi. I call him our fucking Moron of the Month:

…”If Tebow wins the Super Bowl, against all odds, it will buoy his faithful, and emboldened faithful can do insane things, like burning mosques, bashing gays and indiscriminately banishing immigrants. While America has become more inclusive since Jerry Falwell’s first political forays, a Tebow triumph could set those efforts back considerably….”

What’s black and white and red all over?

John Doe — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 13:03:42 +0000

From “The Looking Spoon”

Michelle’s more smarter than her…

John Doe — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 03:04:14 +0000

(sung to the old tune of “My dog’s smarter than yer dog”)

Michelle’s more smarter than Sarah is,

Michelle’s more ssmmarter than she is,

Michelle’s more smarterthanmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Michelle’s got littler boobs than…

Michelle’s got littler boooooobs,

But I’m fat and I have bigger boobs than Michell does,

I’m a fat fucking bimbo,

So Michelle’s more smarter than me!

adgasdfas

John Doe — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:35:39 +0000

Stealing $1.2 Billion: So easy, even a cave man can do it…

John Doe — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 04:48:13 +0000

Don’t you DARE pull that GEICO shit on me! I’m a “progressive.” I advise Obamster on the economy. I’m hip. I’ve got 326,000 kazillion dollars worth of gold hidden in offshore accounts. Yeah, I look and act like a cave man, but I’m a demoncrap, so nobody will do a damn thing. See you in hell, M’F ers.