Gov. Mark Sanford must stay! Or, You DUMBASS Republicans in South Carolina: STOP!

You wonder why there are no great Republican politicians? Because Republicans eat their own.  Ted Kennedy, the greatest womanizer since, well, since Bobby and Jack, cheats on  his vows continuously until the day he dies. And notice our flags flying half-mast in honor of that POS’s passing? And you ingnorant hillbilly’s down in SC want to impeach your Governor for a single indiscretion with one woman? Kennedy beat that weekly, almost daily.

Some idiot Senator from Utah takes a “wide-stance” in a men’s room, and Republicans are apopolectic and demand his resignation.  Barney Frank makes a living being a dumbass queer and he gets celebrated, and elevated to Chairman of the House Financial Services Committee.  

Sen. Ted Stevens supposedly under-pays for some improvements to his house, and Republicans demand his resignation.  When the corruptness of his prosecution because apparent to all, and the case against him is thrown out, Republicans lay back and take it. Rep. William Jefferson hides $100,000 of bribes in his freezer and Democrats stand by their man until he gets hauled off in handcuffs.

Smash Mouth Politics is being SHUT DOWN!

I know that my liberal friends will be distressed to hear this. I hate the media.

Honor Senator Kennedy! Pass this bill in honor of Teddy!

He had no morals or scruples in life. Why NOT take advantage of his death?

Washington, DC (AP) HB2496 2009 will make Scotch the official liquor of the United States in honor of Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, D-Mass.  Sen. Kennedy was a well known heavy-drinker and Scotch was his poison of choice.  Said Sen. Byrd, D-WV: “What better way to honor the lyin’ of the Senate, than to, ugh, umm. What was I saying?”

Republicans were quickly branded racists and hatemongerors for pointing out that Kentucky bourbon was more “American” than a liquor that can only be original if made in Scotland. 

Sen. Dodd, D-Conn, remarked: “I’ll never forget some of those ‘waitress sandwiches’ that me and the Big Fella made with waitresses.  I have such a man-crush on Teddy that this is my way of honoring  him.”

Teddy’s favorite drink? Chivas Scotch, aged 12 years, mixed with a little murky water and a splash of Oldsmobile.  

p.s. According to the best information available, Sen. Kennedy hasn’t had a drink in almost a week.

Teddy Kennedy was Thurston Howell, III

Bwahaahaaa! The FINAL word on Ted The Bloated Whale Kennedy:

From The WaPo: “He was given everything he had in life,” said conservative activist Grover Norquist. “He didn’t earn anything. He is Thurston Howell III, and he has the nerve to say to people who built small businesses, restaurants and gas stations that they should have their money stolen from them” through higher taxes.

After all this Teddy Kennedy shit, I need a laugh

I laughed until my beer came out my nose at the comments of this picture at wagreflex:

Dammit, Jim, I'm a dog, not the Star Ship Enterprise!

Disgusting photos

Don’t try this at home, Kids. Leave this to us profechinals.

Christening of the USS Ted Kennedy

Some things are so priceless that you have to steal them. From Americandigest.

Shut up, bitch. I'm not drunk...

Maybe rationing medical care to old farts isn’t such a bad idea?

Quick, somebody take away Sen. Byrd's walker

Got Dead Kennedy Jokes?

Teddy's carcass lying in state

One of my “favorite topics” is dead Kennedy jokes!  What’s so special about the Zapruder film? It’s the last time we had actual proof that a Kennedy may have actually had a brain. Bwahaha!  How do we know that Teddy didn’t really have brain cancer? He’s a Kennedy, Kennedys have a brain! Why didn’t they embalm Teddy’s body? It was already pickled by years of drinking Scotch.  Why do the liberal press reporters all call him the “Lion of the Senate”?   Lyin was second nature to him.  What’s the difference between Teddy and a whale? Whales don’t drink Scotch until they pass out. What’s the difference between Joseph Stalin and Ted Kennedy?  Stalin never spent 50+ years trying to destroy our form of government.

A little harsh, my liberal kool aid critics? Not as harsh as joking about a girl you left to die in the back seat of a submerged vehicle while you tried to concoct an alibi.

“I don’t know if you know this or not, but one of his favorite topics of humor was indeed Chappaquiddick itself. And he would ask people, “have you heard any new jokes about Chappaquiddick?” That is just the most amazing thing.”

Burn in hell you fat bloated whale.

The first bloated whale to be buried at Arlington Cemetary

Well, at least his double wide burial plot will be closer so that I can go piss on it.