A Democrat U.S. Senator put his hand on my inner thigh

“See, we were having dinner, you know? It was at a fancy place, and all kinds of people were there. But I did not say anything. I didn’t tell him to knock it off, or remove his hand. I let him do it. Through all four courses. I’m a tool for the Republicans, so I’ll mention this on my blog, and on T.V.  Just don’t ask me to tell you which Senator it was, so that the unnamed Senator can dispute my silly story.  No, wait. I have it wrong. I’m a faggot tool for the Democrats, and it was a Republican Senator who supposedly did this! Can you guess who I am?”

Vivian J. Paige “gets religion” now that a Democrat wild-child is in the news

Here, I’ll paraphrase her inane blog post, so you don’t have to go read it: “Oh, should we have politicians’ children off limits? Oooooh, now that a Democrat is running for office, and his kid screwed up, should we sweep it under the rug and not blog about it? Should we set strict limits on what we say about their kids, even their adult kids? Psst!  By the way, did you see the latest joke about Palin’s kids? Wasn’t that funny? That’s not what I’m talking about–that bitch’s evil spawn are fair game. I’m talking about the kid’s of Democrats. He he.”

I’ve finally come to the conclusion: WE WERE LIED TO LEADING UP TO THE IRAQ INVASION!

Every one of these quotes has been confirmed as 100% accurate by snopes.com!

Obama nominates Castro to Supreme Court, Republicans refuse to oppose

Even Fidel keeps a close watch on his bro

A.P. July 13, 2009: President Obama has withdrawn his nomination of Sonya SotomaYOR. In her place he has nominated   Generalisimo Raul Castro, brother and heir apparent of Cuban brutal Dictator Benevolent Leader Fidel Castro.  The American Bar Association has already given Gen. Castro its highest rating, calling him “Most Qualified.”