Like your current health insurance? You can keep it! No insurance? We’ll insure you at no charge! Dislike deductibles and co-pays? No worries, Mate! We’ll cover them for you!
It’s a crisis! The world will come to an end if you make us read all thousand pages of the proposed legislation! No time! Must do! All your neighbors, and your mother, depend upon us passing this legislation before August! You DO love your mother, doncha?
Obama’s Snake Oil can save America! No money down, zero payments for the first ten years! FREE HEALTH CARE! Act now, call within the next fifteen days, and President Obama will cause the ocean to recede, temperatures in Chicago to decrease 4.3 degrees in the next 3 years, and the Detroit Lions will win the Super Bowl in 2010*.
If you call within the next twenty minutes, President Obama will double the offer! No down payments, interest free for the next TWENTY YEARS, and we’ll throw in a free proctological exam FREE!
But wait, THERE’S MORE! Act now, and receive a free bail out for General Motors and Chrysler! President Obama will force a G.M. to resign, give the two businesses to the U.A.W., and stick the tax payers with the tab, all at no cost to The Won.
Quick, call now! Operators are standing by! Call 1-wes-o00-fukd!
* come on, President Obama is a miracle worker, but some things are just impossible!