My Turbo Tax says I owe taxes!

No fucking way. Turbo Tax can’t be trusted. Ask Tim Geithner! Ohhhhh. That income is all wrong. I didn’t really earn that money. It was charity. My clients “gave” it to me. And my expenses were way too low. Traveling to and from poker night is expensive. Those tolls add up, even though I don’t pay them on the way home after hours. And all those imaginary deductions, I forgot about them. Pay my fair share of taxes? Are you shitting me? Just the little people pay taxes. And if they come for me? I have many, MANY guns, and plenty of ammo.  See what you started Obama? Geithner? Can  you say Geithner?  Put me down on the list of “right-wing extremists”, Bitch in Chief.

Raw Padma Lakshmi

A little Rule 5 action just for Top Chefs. And Padma admirers.  I was watching the NCAA mens’ basketball finals when this commercial came on. I said “That looks like Padma from Top Chef.” [The one I saw didn't have her name on the first few second.] Nawww. The guys didn’t believe me. Then I said she was married to the writer, Salmon Rushdie.  Nawwwwww.

But wait, there is more!  I promised you raw…\

 

R.I.P. “The Bird” died

Mark “The Bird” Fidrych, Detroit Tiger pitcher and rookie of the year in 1976, died at 54.

Best Season: 1976
He went 19-9 with a league-leading 2.34 ERA. Three times he pitched six straight complete games, and he won eight straight games at one point. He was chosen to start the All-Star Game, which he lost. He hurled a two-hitter, a four-hitter, and five five-hitters. Fidrych was a distant second to Jim Palmer in Cy Young voting, but was named AL Rookie of the Year.

1976 was a magical year, and The Bird was a large part of the magic. I was born an hour outside of Detroit. The entire state of Michigan was bonkers for the Tigers, and they went bonkers for Fidrych, too. He talked to the ball, he tended to holes in the mound on his hands and knees. Literally life came to a stop when he pitched. We huddled around the T.V. or the radio and sat transfixed. I don’t recall anything like it before or since. And his salary that year? $16,000. He did it for love of the game.