Monday, April 13, 2009
Beastiality refers to sex between humans and adults. Polygamy refers to having multiple spouses. Necrophilia refers to sex with a corpse and incest means sex between closely related relatives. Under current laws, participants of those acts can be charged with crimes against nature, but lawmakers are considering a bill to legalize the consensual acts between adults (or corpses or animals, as the case may be).
Supporters told The Burlington Free Press they don’t want to condone the behavior but they don’t think adults should be prosecuted as sex offenders for consensual conduct. They argue that so long as the animals are not harmed, animals need not “consent” to what we adults do to them. And they argue that corpses are no longer living and need not give consent. They also point to so-called “Durable Power of Attorneys” and Wills that can give consent to a spouse or a loved-one after death.
The bill passed the state Senate earlier this month. The House Judiciary Committee will hear testimony on it this week. One Democratic law maker, who asked not to be identified, claimed that this is just the natural result of legitimizing homosexual marriages. He claimed that we just can not keep discriminating against persons based soley upon their sexual proclivities performed in private between consenting adults. Meanwhile, he blasted “social conservatives” for trying to foist their moral beliefs upon him and his favorite sheep. He pooh-poohed the “slippery slope” argument that all forms of perversion will now be de-criminalized: “We are going to keep NAMBLA out of the mainstream. For now…”
Meghan McCain, the presumptive (and slutty?) heir to the Republican Party leadership quickly proclaimed her support for the new bill: “Of all the causes I believe in and speak publicly about, this is one of the ones closest to my heart. At the most basic level, sexual orientation should not be a factor in how you are treated. If the Republican Party has any hope of gaining substantial support from a wider, younger base, we need to get past our anti-pervert rhetoric. As you can imagine, the road for perverted Republicans hasn’t been an easy one. Most seem to find the words “beastiality” and “conservative” inherent contradictions, much the same way so many people can’t seem to reconcile fiscal conservatism and the big-tent philosophy of freedom and justice for all. A dear friend of mine who’s both a sheep lover and Republican told me, “I find myself constantly being asked how I can reconcile who I am as a person with a party that lately has had such a pervert-unfriendly message. Where I stand politically doesn’t begin and end with my sexuality.”
UPDATE 4/27/09: pssst. Ok, this is a parody of what I believe will be happening in a few years. when the people of a country or a state have no morals, there is no level to which they won’t stoop. and the mere fact that so many believed it shows how plausible it is already…]