Daily Archives: April 1, 2009

OH FOR GOD’S SAKE! Let Obama’s Aunt stay in the USA

What kind of moron would not pardon her if he were PResident? the Most Powerful Man in the World? And what moron would begrudge him pardoning her, or whatever it takes? Do not give me this crap about following the rule of law, or whatever. Pardon her, Precious. Or whatever it takes. End of story. Or, hey, allow her to return to Africa, maybe let some terrorists abduct her, then let them ransom her to the President of America. There, is that better you assholes?

More evidence of Obama Administration I-N-C-O-MM-P-E__T-E-N-C-E

20080227-hillary“KABUL (Reuters) – Taliban insurgents reject a U.S. offer of “honorable reconciliation,” a top spokesman said on Wednesday, calling it a “lunatic idea” and saying the only way to end the war was to withdraw foreign troops.”  No shit? What moron didn’t see this coming? Trying to reason with barbarians doesn’t work? Quick, somebody go tell the Telepromter in Chief!  Muslims see this as a sign of weakness. First, sending a woman. Then trying to negotiate an “honorable reconciliation.”  Reality check, dumbass Obama and ignoramous Hitlery (if she had any say in the matter): time to switch to Plan B.

Howard Fineman earns his coveted pair of Presidential Kneepads

Not with a book. Not with months and months of hard work.  Not due to all his constant fawning over President Obama. No, not Howard! He earns it in just a few sentences!

link_kneepads1

Without further adieu, I present Howard’s knee-pad earning wordsContinue reading

My nephew just got out of jail

michigan-clarecsoHe is saying all the right things, I’m going to change, I’ve learned my lesson, yada yada yada.  He is a living example of why every parent or parent to be should read this article by Cassy Fiano.  My nephew was raised by a mother who loved him too much to say no.  She wasn’t lazy, she was just a poor misguided hippie. Don’t worry, if she ever read this–she won’t–but if she did, she has come to agree with me.  Continue reading

Hey DUMBASS at Blue Virginia

You forgot the most important group of “climate change deniers”: Those who have real minds, who think for themselves, and who are convinced that dickheads such as you and alGore are full of shit.  I refuse to even link to the juvenile article of which I am speaking at Blew Virginia, but the gist is that there are four groups of “climate change deniers”: 1) those paid by fossil fuel companies; 2) a small minority of scientists who have reviewed the data but aren’t convinced of any harm; 3) conservatives who refuse to accept reality because they hate the solution–more government regulation; and 4) democrats from coal producing areas.

deliveranceIn other words, in typical asshole alGore fashion, don’t bother to discuss the facts, just impugn the motives of those with opposing viewpoints. Sorry, asshole, that only works in, say, junior high school, or with those too stupid or lazy to actually look into the facts.  I sincerely feel sorry for you, you moron.  The only question in my mind is whether you were dropped on your head early in life, or whether you are just so fucking inbred that you are incapable of reason.

Sen. Stevens won, Democrats won, our representative form of democracy lost

blind_justiceThe FBI and the federal prosecutors conspired to cheat a U.S. Senator out of a fair trial.  Even political hack Attorney General Eric Holder now has implicitly acknowledged that fact: 

Justice Department officials say they will withdraw their opposition to the defense motion for a new trial and will dismiss the indictment — in effect ,voiding the Stevens conviction.” Continue reading

I am NOT an attention whore!

img-author-photo-meghan-mccain-_201210377527Am Not! Am Not! AM NOT! 

By Meghan McCain

I may be the future of the Republican Party. I am the apple of Daddy’s eye. And I did not fall far from the tree. I am a spoiled little rich kid–as are many liberals and country club Republicans.  But I am not an attention whore. Puhleease! Look at my picture–does that look like I could whore at anything?

Ok, maybe I am.  I need help.  So to try to help my lard-ass, I am taking positive steps.  First, this will be my last guest appearance here at Smash Mouth Politics.  This blog site is where I first became exposed to a national audience.  And I hereby–on behalf of John Doe–do organize a boycott of all things Meghan McCain.  Please join with me in totally ignoring my articles on the Daily Beast. Don’t even click on it–that only encourages me. Certainly do not link to any of my articles.  The way my articles have been linked, and cross-linked, and counter-linked, and re-directed linked, it only eggs me on. I am, after all a spoiled little bitch. Yes, I’m self-centered. Yes, I think the world revolves around me. When I have a certain view, I naturally think all other Republicans should believe just as I do. I really need help.  I really am an attention whore. (My therapist says it is important to keep admitting that.)  So, please, boycott my articles. All those in favor, say AYE!

BEWARE the April 1st virus

Here is what you need to look out for:

Continue reading

My first evah “quote of the day”

From Five feet of fury, regarding Mehgan Mac:

“Right now, John McCain should be saying,

“Phew, thank God my wife brought home that surprise Vietnamese orphan or all my kids would be stupid!!”